Authorities have charged an Oregon man with using a motorized vehicle to harass or molest game after he allegedly accelerated through a group of bald eagles in Dutch Harbor, Alaska, killing two, the Associated Press reports.

Now this is a football highlight reel.

According to today's Reuters story about eagle inspections by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, if there's one thing the U.S. needs, it's more dead-but-not-rotten eagles.

The Scottish government recently imported 14 sea eagles from Norway, to reintroduce the giant bird of prey into the wilds of Scotland. Unfortunately, they chose areas not quite wild enough, according to the Scottish Gamekeepers Association, which is calling for an inquiry into the feathered monsters with wingspans of up to eight feet:

Haven't you always wondered if mouth-to-beak resuscitation—"bird CPR"—would actually work? Well! We can confirm that, yes, in at least one instance it has: Bend, Ore. veterinarian Jeff Cooney saved a bald eagle (named, boringly, "Patriot") this week by performing CPR on it. Patriot, whom Dr. Cooney is rehabilitating from an apparent car accident, was under anesthesia at the time; KTVZ provides the image above, though we're not sure if the photograph is a staged re-creation of the event or an actual action shot of the heroic lifesaving attempt. Either way, it's good to know that, in the event that you come across a dying bird, you may have a shot at saving its life. [KTVZ]

"We're becoming a nation of wussies." —Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell, on postponing the Eagles-Vikings game for snow.

Captain Steve may have saved these peoples' lives but don't expect him to become an overnight American hero. He did manage to kill our threatened national symbol in the process. Captain Sully is not impressed.

Today in Factual Accounts of True Tales of American Heroism That Should Not Be Characterized as Propaganda: Hero Navy SEALs have rescued a helpless eagle that was shot by a fiendish Afghani.

In 1996, Leslie Owen Collier pleaded guilty to killing three bald eagles. Naturally, President Bush has just pardoned him. Back in 1995, Collier, some sort of rabble-rousing anarchist farmer, crushed pesticides into delicious hamburger meat and left it outside to kill any adorable little animals that might cross his path. Naturally, after killing a red-tailed hawk, a great horned owl, an opossum, and a raccoon, three majestic Bald Eagles partook in some left-over poison hamburger, and promptly died. The Bald Eagle is our nation's bold fresh mascot, like the Pillsbury Doughboy of not getting tread upon. Naturally, the eagle was nearly extinct within 200 years of the founding of our nation, and it's been a crime to "kill" them since the 1940s. Why would Bush pardon this cold-blooded freedom-killer? Well! According to an anti-American "natural history" site hosted on Canadian servers, the Bald Eagle is not so much of a majestic predator, swooping down and pecking to death our nation's many enemies, but really more of a lazy scavenger, subsisting mainly on "what it finds cast onto the shore." So the Bald Eagle is the Original Lazy Welfare Queen of the Skies, which is why Bush pardoned this brave hero.

"All Summer Long" is one catchy tune. Built on the groove of the late Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London," spiced up with Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama," the song nonetheless soars on Robert James Ritchie's down-homey delivery of one of the best ballads to hit the airwaves in years. I've heard it on Top 40, country and classic rock stations in the past week. Kid Rock's album, Rock 'n Roll Jesus, is now at #2 on Billboard's chart. All this without iTunes. Why on earth would record labels withhold an album from America's largest music retailer?There's no one big reason. This WSJ report lists several: