This morning, the anchors of the Early Show were caught off guard when the show accidentally cut to two men doing something.

Sen. Scott Brown's not-really-famous daughter, Ayla, recently got a job as a CBS Early Show correspondent. Flush with possible stories, she settled on "interviewing her dad" for her most recent segment, pretty much exhausting her entire long-term usefulness to CBS.

CBS's Early Show highlighted a couple who plan to pay for their upcoming wedding by collecting four-hundred-thousand aluminum cans and cashing in their recycling money. Thrifty, sure, but who wants bags upon bags of cans all over your home?

So, Michael Moore has been making the media rounds to promote his latest project, Capitalism: A Love Story. The film, we're sure, will be enlightening, but, as happens with all things Moore, may be overshadowed by the man himself.

Early Show host and Les Moonves wifey Julie Chen is preggers! And from the sound of her banter this morning, we are going to be hearing all about Mrs. CBS's baby-to-be for months.

Sarah Palin's former future son-in-law, Levi Johnston, hit the Early Show, continuing his soft-spoken media beef with the Alaska governor. He blames his breakup with Bristol Palin, the mother of his child, on the election.

Ohh Hoda Kotb. The perpetually drunk Today Show hostess was celebrating St. Paddy's day pretty hard on-air this morning. Over at CBS, they were only pretending to drink. Take a cue, Hodes.

Rick Kaplan's exit from The Early Show-less than three months after the veteran TV producer was brought in to turn around the troubled CBS morning programme-has never been adequately explained. CBS's valiant flacks said he needed a rest after working two jobs, and would be focus on the network's election coverage. Blog Jossip speculated that Kaplan wanted a pay rise that CBS News chief Sean McManus wasn't prepared to give; but it would be surprising for an executive to attempt renegotiation so soon after taking a new job. Here's a more plausible narrative. According to a CBS insider, Kaplan's big mistake was falling out with his boss' wife, Early Show presenter Julie Chen.

How is it humanly possible for the CBS Early Show to be so dysfunctional? And so early in the morning, at that? The show has been a nest of infighting for months, since the times of deposed mean boss Shelley Ross. Now, we hear that more scheming and devious machinations are underway. A tipster says that Zev Shalev, who was named a senior producer for the show in March (and who CBS execs are said to want to take over permanently as the show's top producer), may be in the crosshairs of Michael Rosen, another senior producer who was once described to us as "a tyrant to the staff." Laurye Blackford, a departing senior producer and "mean girl," may also be involved. Of course, anyone who has survived at the show through all of its internal turbulence must be presumed to be an expert Machiavellian corporate backstabber. Beware, CBS staffers! Do you have any more info on the Early Show's drama? Email us, please.

CBS continues to be a total disaster. Last year they brought in former MSNBC president Rick Kaplan to save Katie Couric's Evening News (without asking Katie's opinion). We all know how that went! Not that Kaplan stayed there long—soon he was dispatched to take control of the constantly failing Early Show, where he replaced the scary, tequila-swigging Shelley Ross. Ross left, but her "mean girl" staff remained. So far, Kaplan has not righted the sunk ship. Now we hear it's curtains for Kaplan. Or at least he's taking a suspicious two-week vacation during sweeps. The kind of vacation you don't come back from. Speculation from a leaky CBSer, below.

Working on CBS's Early Show seems a bit like serving time in a Soviet Gulag. No point in befriending anyone, as the ones who don't wish you specific ills may disappear one night without notice. The sad morning show lost another associate producer this week, we hear from a tipster who asked to not even be quoted off the record because CBS is "firing leakers" now. Scary! What's the story? We'll try to explain.

Are staffers at CBS's Early Show so much happier since holy-terror producer Shelley Ross left a few weeks ago? Maybe not! A mole tells us that Ross, while she had her issues, wasn't the only problem. No staffers that quit have returned, and even with Rick Kaplan as new producer, we hear that Ross's "mean girl" senior staff still survives and carries on her unfortunate ways. In fact, two more people have quit, and others plan on leaving soon.

Today's Page Six asks "WHICH slave-driving producer of a morning TV show was ordered by the network's legal department to cease and desist offering staffers tequila shots on Friday afternoons?" We haven't had a good poll here in awhile, but this one's pretty obvious. Over at the CBS 'Early Show,' producer Shelley Ross has been breaking balls since she arrived in September, prompting a number of staffers to walk. Ross herself was fired a couple of years ago from her ABC News gig in the wake of staff complaints about her um, rather intense management style. One CBS staffer, who sent a protest manifesto to network executives, complained that despite "tequila Fridays" being nixed, "there is much evidence that drinking tequila or alcohol but especially tequila with Shelley is considered the way 'in' with her and her group." Oh my God, the same thing happened to me in the ninth grade! After the jump, more bitchery and unrest at the consistently third-ranked network morning talk show.

With anchor Rene Syler sashaying off The Early Show, it appears CBS may not bother to replace her, instead focusing on the remaining four nonpersonae on the program. That means more face time for Harry Smith, Hannah Storm, and Dave Price, not to mention Les Moonves spouse Julie Chen. Unless, of course, the CBS denials of further personnel shifts are horse pucky, as TVNewser hears. Regardless, the show's current forgettable set and graphics will be replaced with an all new and even more forgettable set and graphics, sure to draw legions of new viewers among mental patients and the superficially distracted. No change in the show's third-place ratings doldrums is expected, now or ever.

Jerry Falwell, Bill Nye the Science Guy, and Andy Borowitz ensure that the answer is yes.

• Many of you know CBS Early Show anchor Julie Chen as the wife of CBS showboat Les Moonves. But she has another talent: The ability to pull an insipid catchphrase out of her ass. [TVgasm]
• If you're desperate for freelance, check out the opportunities at the forthcoming men's mag, Cotton Tales. It's guaranteed to give Details and Men's Vogue a run for their big, gay money. [Craigslist]
• Trying to curb curse words in media? Good fucking luck. Asking us to stop swearing is like asking Graydon Carter to start wearing a patch. [NYT]
• Is getting an Extreme Makeover from the ABC reality show worth dying for? In the case of these remarkably fragile women, the show's rejection might lead to suicide. And by might, we mean has. [Defamer]
• Does Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni know the muffin man? And, if so, does he have a thing for him? [Bruni Digest]

Here's the only softball news we have for you this weekend: