When Wall Street fails, Silicon Valley must step up. So goes the hubristic thinking here. Debt greases the wheels of commerce, and the sale of servers and software is no exception. And that part of the credit industry has hit a rough patch, too, with defaults on equipment loans nearly doubling in the past year. As with other credit markets, this had made traditional lenders nervous. So cash-rich tech companies are venturing into lending themselves. IBM has long had an in-house lending arm, with $24.5 billion in loans outstanding. Cisco lent $4 billion to customers last year. Even eBay is getting into the game through Bill Me Later; it acquired $550 million in consumer loans in conjunction with the purchase of the payments startup.We know how this ends — with tech-company shareholders footing the bill. Cisco wrote off $900 million in bad debt in 2001. It will surely claim to have learned its lessons since then. But as others rush in to help customers acquire their wares, some will surely get burnt. As will investors, who may think they're buying shares in a tech company, only to discover they've put money into a bank.

An anonymous eBayer spoke out on the auction website's user forums recently, irate over seeing penis-enlargement ads on the eBay homepage. Within seconds, a horde of other outspoken eBayers chimed in with over 600 replies to share their shock and dismay of seeing the same penis-envy ads. One grandmother was extremely offended at having her little grandson wonder whether his manhood is up to par. But it turned out eBay wasn't actually at fault — malware on the computers of people seeing the ads had replaced eBay's G-rated come-ons with racier fare. Maybe those offended should just pick up some discounted antivirus software on eBay? That seems easier. Here's another malware-placed ad:

Amazon.com got a big payday when eBay bought Bill Me Later, the payment service, for $945 million earlier this month. So why isn't it admitting it? In an SEC filing, Amazon.com didn't name Bill Me Later as the source of a $150 million cash payment it will receive in return for an investment. But it's obviously Bill Me Later, which Amazon.com invested in last December. Here's the curiously vague wording of Amazon's disclosure to shareholders, and three possible reasons for it.

Online auction house eBay is self-banning the sale of ivory and ivory products on its website — prompted after animal welfare groups investigated trading in animal products from endangered species. Elephant ivory were the most common and eBay is saying it will do its best to stop the thousands listings of animal goods but only after January of 2009. Because corporate goodwill still needs to wait after the earnings report. [Los Angeles Times]

You rarely see a photo of John Donahoe, eBay's Dennis-the-Menace lookalike CEO. But today's a good day to pull him out from under Meg Whitman's shadow. The auction deathstar's Q3 net income was $492.2 million, or 38 cents a share. Much better than last year, when chirpy little upstart Skype — a Whitman acquisition — forgot to destroy AT&T and instead cost the company a billion bucks. (Photo by AP/Ron Edmonds)

A source embedded in the political world claims Meg Whitman, the former CEO of eBay, has set up a committee to explore a run for governor of California in 2010. The Secretary of State's office doesn't list her as having filed a statement of intention yet, which is required before she can begin raising money for a run. The San Jose Mercury News recently reported that Whitman was looking to hire a political consulting firm in Sacramento. What really has us interested: The prospect of a race between Whitman, whose Internet new-money fortune is estimated at $1.3 billion, and San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, whose family gets its funding from the city's old-line elite. The Hair versus The Sensible 'Do? We're as excited as Whitman's dog about this one.

The last time YHOO traded below $13 was after 9/11 and before the U.S. invaded Iraq. (I live in San Francisco, where even Republicans obsess over these connections.) Henry Blodget, the disgraced stock analyst everyone trusts now, says Yahoo is scrambling to update its layoff plans after watching eBay go first:

You know that scene in Fight Club where Ed Norton beats the crap out of himself to walk away with off-the-books pay severance and free flight vouchers? Those lazy eBay employees didn't even have to go through that much for their sweetheart deal. Yahoos, on the other hand, would count themselves lucky to get the chance. If living in California hasn't made your heart bleed liberal juice yet, read what CaliforniaCajun, today's featured commenter, says:

If you were just laid off from eBay, will there be a job for you in five months when your severance runs out? For answers, consult the eBay-branded slot machines now up and running in Las Vegas. Licensing the eBay name is no doubt lucrative, but it's a bizarre branding move, since eBay's moving away from its are-you-feeling-lucky auctions in favor of fixed-price sales. Can you come up with a better caption? Leave it in the comments. The best one will become the post's new headline. Yesterday's loser: Anyone who suggested "Ich bin ein Wiener." Yesterday's winner: godospoons, for "No, you can't use it to SuperPoke Poland." (Photo by waldoj)

Alan Marks, eBay's top flack, has a new buzzword for layoffs: "simplification." It's a simplification so simple that Marks had to send a 1,078-word memo explaining it. The bottom line: He cut 15 out of 105 people, or 14 percent of his staff worldwide, but he's hiring another 8 people into new positions. This makes me wonder: Is Marks so immersed in PR-speak that he's lost the ability to compose a blunt and honest communication? Or does Marks, an eBay novice who only joined the company in April from Nike, simply distrust his staff, and thus feel obliged to sanitize all of his internal emails in case they get leaked — as this one has? Read on:

Pierre Omidyar, the one-and-only founder of eBay, didn't much appreciate John McCain's tip of the hat in last night's debate to Meg Whitman, eBay's former CEO. "Meg Whitman was CEO of a company which started with 12 people," McCain said, which rather riled Omidyar. Omidyar started the company by himself in September 1995; Whitman joined in March 1998, when the company already had 30 employees.

As Owen put it yesterday, why can't we get laid off by eBay? An insider gives us the rundown of exactly what's in his (or her) severance package, and who's rumored to be next.

Asked about possible candidates to serve as his Treasury secretary, John McCain said in Tuesday's presidential-candidate debate that Meg Whitman was a top candidate. His running mate, Sarah Palin, loves to talk about putting the state jet on eBay (even though, as is all too typical for eBay sellers these days, it didn't actually result in a sale). Whitman's record at eBay is mixed; she probably stayed three years too long. But since we're on the topic, why not put all the worthless mortgage securities the government is buying on eBay? The listing fees alone will be a major boon to the Silicon Valley economy.

eBay's layoffs of nearly 10 percent of its 15,000 workforce are continuing today, a tipster tells us. Losing one's job now, with the markets so fraught, is painful. But the auction giant is, to its credit, sweetening the way out. Employees are getting five months' severance and health-insurance coverage.

Mary Lou Song, eBay's first PR person, has formally unveiled her own startup. Tokoni, which has come out of beta to let people tell their stories online, is unremarkable, considering the number of self-indulgent self-publishing websites already out there. Except for this: Song, at eBay, is best known for inventing the company's fictitious origin myth. That old canard about Pierre Omidyar starting the site to sell his girlfriend's Pez dispensers? Years later, Song confessed she made it up. But the invention paid off: Omidyar is investing in Song's effort to collect other people's imaginings.

News reports confirm the rumors we heard over the weekend about eBay's layoffs. Details are scant, but our sources say some departments are losing as much as 22 percent of their staffing. Development managers have been told to expect to lose 1,700 "train seats" next year. That's programmer lingo for weeks of developers' time; one train seat is three weeks. Do the math: That means at least 100 programmers are losing their jobs in the cuts. Adding insult to injury: eBay is spending $1 billion in cash and stock to acquire three companies — payments firm Bill Me Later, and two Danish classifieds sites. What a stupid PR move, to combine the two announcements: Those getting laid off will wonder how eBay has money to spend on buying companies but not paying employees.

I've long wondered why a largely-automated site like eBay needs to employ 15,000 people. Soon it might not. In September, research firm Wedge Partners said eBay needed to cut 10 percent of its workforce. Now an employee tipster tells us such "big deep cuts" may come as early as Monday. Our unverified source reports that "marketing and product" and " all of the horizontal support is at risk." If the axe doesn't drop Monday, it "will be done by earnings call on the fifteenth." What's gone wrong? eBay sellers don't like auctions as much as they used to, and as just another fixed-price online store eBay hasn't been able to compete.

Josh Silverman, president of eBay's Skype Internet-calling service, has issued a mea culpa blog post. The short version: Tom Online, Skype's Chinese partner, is storing instant messages sent over the service — and storing them insecurely, to boot. [Skype Blogs]

Wonder why Microsoft is losing so much money online? Its Live Cashback offer isn't the sole reason, but it's symptomatic of the problem. Since June, Microsoft has included eBay in a program which offers users of its Windows Live search engine discounts when they click on ads and buy a product. Coupon-tracking blogs report that Microsoft and eBay have increased the discount to 30 percent, up to a maximum of $250. It's inconceivable that this can pay off for Microsoft, but there's no reason not to get a cheap laptop. Trust us, Bill Gates can afford it.

Marc Andreessen has been invited to join the board at eBay. The online auction company has been struggling of late, never mind CEO John Donahoe's assertion that what's bad for the American economy is good for eBay. Andreessen, probably smelling the stink blowing in from the rising tide, stockpiled enough venture capital to last Ning through a "nuclear winter." Proving his acumen at swindling investors if nothing else — and he does know how to keep employees overworked between stints at eager, young startups like Netscape and Ning and layoff-happy AOL. [San Jose Mercury News]