Blue Cross Blue Shield of New Jersey reported a 4 percent increase in vasectomy claims from 2007 to 2009. Nobody wants to bring a child into a world where they will never qualify for a sub-prime mortage. [NJ.com]

Reports that Verizon may end AT&T's monopoly over the iPhone boosted trading on Wall Street, where European debt threatened to ruin everyone's day.

David Ito is an assistant regional director in the SEC's Los Angeles office. He makes around $200,000 a year supervising the commission's L.A. regulators. According to a source, he was looking at porn at work during the economic collapse.

Dick Cheney's speaking fees: "As of last year, Dick Cheney commanded $75,000, plus first-class travel for an entourage of three. Liz Cheney gets $20,000 plus travel for one." Well, that's still less than Gore. And Paris Hilton.

The very hard partying NYU economics professor Nouriel Roubini painted such a bleak picture of our economy he was dubbed Dr. Doom. Now his outlook has changed so he says he wants a new nickame. We're here to help.

The Way We Live Now: Like a smooth criminal. Well, "smooth" is not quite the right word. Desperate? Yes. And occasionally inept. There are no banks left to rob. There's no bull market left to milk!

In The New York Review of Books, Jonathan Raban argues that Sarah Palin's popularity is based on her oversimplification of economic principles. (And, also, hating the Jews.)

Research Question: Why are New Yorkers miserable? Hypothesis: Because New York is not a pleasant place to live.

The UN's chief drug-fighter says billions of dollars in drug money saved the global economy from collapse last year. Sounds kind of plausible, doesn't it?

The good news: Unemployment dropped slightly last month, to 10%. The bad news: 4,200 print publishing workers were laid off just in November and 86,800 have lost their jobs in the past 12 months.

Republican Minority Whip Eric Cantor's economic plan calls for no tax increases of any kind until unemployment falls below 5%, at which point he does not support any tax increases.

During the presidential campaign, John McCain stupidly announced that "the fundamentals of the economy are still strong," a statement that Barack Obama hung around his neck like a flaming car tire. Today, Obama hailed the economy's "core strengths." Whoops.

The official unemployment rate is now 10.2%, higher than analysts expected, according to Bloomberg.

Some genius once dubbed New York University economist Nouriel Roubini "the Joe Francis of Pessimism Porn," and yesterday's one-two punch of a Eurotrashy post-Halloween loft party with Oliver Stone and a doomsaying op-ed in the Financial Times proves the point.

The Way We Live Now: In secret shame. We walk around in public acting like the recession is finally over. But look in your dirty closet, America! Our fanciest corporations are undercover paupers. Our homeless are disappearing. Into the void!

President Obama now has a backup plan in the event he decides to kick Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to the curb. 50 Cent has graciously stepped forward and offered to help the president run the U.S. economy. If President Obama needs him, of course.

Everyone is all mad at Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner for including a hilariously wrong chapter on climate change in the sequel to their famous book Freakonomics, but some of us have been on the hating-those-dudes train forever.

The Way We Live Now: Counterintuitively. The recession is discombobulating your normal expectations. Prices for worthless schools go up. Lawyers turn to pimps. Everybody wants to be abused. Dildos are not what they seem!

In your finally Friday media column: a sunny theory about Conde Nast, Katie Couric's words of wisdom, George Will learns exactly where to go, and the AP's crazy scheme, for money.

Sarah Palin gave a speech in Hong Kong. Despite what you may read in "news" "articles," the content of the speech was unimportant. No one thinks she knows anything about economics or China. What matters is how it played!