Indie mag Miller-McCune performed mathematical voodoo on a zillion movie reviews to figure out critics' favorite and least favorite actors, as well as which critics are the nicest and the meanest.

Last night's CBS 2 local news broadcast featured this chilling footage of a vehicular accident of the kind of intensity rarely seen outside of high-speed chases between overly aggressive paparazzi and their coked-up, Hyde-departing quarry, a near-tragedy that could have pointlessly robbed Hollywood of one of its brightest stars. At first, it seemed as if crash victim Eddie Griffin escaped the incident unscathed, but the actor's subsequent references to himself as a character from an obscure film of five years ago may indicate the onset of a troubling post-traumatic stress disorder.

· Comedian Eddie Griffin's new Miramax-produced movie, Dysfunktional Family is facing complaints from the Sikh community over a scene in which Griffin compares a Sikh man to Osama bin Laden. Expect more controversy from other groups; Griffin also says that he could find bin Laden with "five Bloods, five Crips, four Mexicans and three rednecks." [Page Six]
· The May issue of Vanity Fair has a piece suggesting that JFK Jr. is the bastard son of Gianni Agnelli. [Page Six]
· Ed Gernon, executive producer of the CBS movie Hitler: The Rise of Evil, says the film is a cautionary tale for the American people during the Bush administration. [Page Six]
· Paris Hilton's former chef says that Paris mistreats her chihuahua, Tinkerbell: "Paris needs to take responsibility and care for her dogs...they're not fashion accessories." Paris: "they're not?" [Ed. noteokay, so Paris didn't actually say that, but I'm sure she was thinking it.] [Page Six]
· Seventeen is in trouble for photoshopping Sarah Michelle Gellar's covershot to the extent that "It looks like an alien foot attached to her arm." [Page Six]
· Financier John Gutfreund's wife and son, J.P. are starting a line of leisure wear. [Cindy Adams]
· An ex-commando who was in Afghanistan says it's not surprising that Geraldo Rivera got kicked out of Iraq for broadcasting troop movements, because he's put military personnel at risk before: "We had two-and three-man sniper teams hiding out in the mountains. Geraldo found out about it from the [anti-Taliban] mujahedeen soldiers. We were paying them between $25 and $100 a month. Geraldo put the word out that he would pay any Afghan who deserted the U.S. Army $100 a day to point out where the snipers were so he could get pictures of them...Here are a couple of snipers hidden in this cave, and Geraldo comes prancing up." [NY Daily News]