There's nothing more American than comparing a vice-presidential candidate's physical appearance to a children's cartoon character. And Paul Ryan's just got one of those faces that makes everyone wonder "who does he remind me of?" Sometimes the similarities are obvious and sometimes they require picturing a former child actor copulating with a small, carnivorous rodent, but they're all right, every last one of them.

· This week's Dirt Sandwich is comprised of tragic tales of depression/cancer/diabetes/AIDS, tiger attacks and missing family members. And, as usual, they were handled with the grace and aplomb we have come to expect from paragons of journalistic integrity like Mark McGrath and Donny Osmond.
· Coked-Up Viral Promotion Theater Presents: Vikki & Kenickie in: THE NIGHT I SHOT EDDIE MUNSTER FOR NOT LOVING "KRAZEE." If you can bear to watch the whole uncensored clip, pay particular attention to what's on the table at 1:19. Doesn't look like pablum to us. [YouTube]
· Finally, the internet gives us what we have been looking for all these years — a site dedicated to chronicling only what white people like. Examples being gentrification, difficult breakups and expensive sandwiches. Yep, three for three! [Stuff White People Like]
· The title of this YouTube clip says it all: Rock Band Baby!!! Funny!!! [YouTube]
· Notoriously cranky movie blogger Jeffrey Wells thinks Ellen Page doesn't stand a chance to win an Oscar because there is "absolutely nothing about her that says 'alluring breeding-age female.'" [Vulture]
· Oscar Bingo! [Thrillist]