Breast cancer shocker! Gum healthiness! Lonely exercising! Teen girl suicide! Young strokes! Egg cholesterol! Diet soda heart attack! Baby obesity! And L.A.'s official guide to ecstasy! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while rolling, in the official style!

The owner of the Iowa farm who was selling salmonella-tainted eggs that led to a massive recall will testify before a House subcommittee today. In a prepared statement, Austin DeCoster says he was "horrified," but of course he blames others.

The Iowa farm that recently recalled 500 million eggs tainted with salmonella, Wright County Egg, over a two-year period detected salmonella in 426 samples at its facilities, according to investigators. But the FDA doesn't require notification of salmonella detection. Nice.

The two Iowa farms that produced the half billion recalled salmonella eggs have been visited by investigators from the Department of Justice and the Food and Drug Administration's criminal division this week. Good thing, because those farms are disgusting.

[A photo released today by the Korean Central News Agency shows North Korean leader Kim Jong-il inspecting eggs at the 927 Chicken Farm near Pyongyang. Meanwhile, in the USA, 550 million tainted eggs have been recalled. Image via AP]

Have you heard about the half-billion eggs recalled over the salmonella outbreak? Well, it turns out the Iowa producer has a history of abusing hens, paying fines for health violations and settling complaints that it's a "sexually hostile work environment."

A second egg producer in Iowa has issued a recall of its delicious-but-salmonella-laced eggs. 380 million eggs have already been recalled in 14 states. End-to-end, those eggs could reach the International Space Station and give the astronauts there explosive diarrhea.

Iowa's Wright County Egg Farm is recalling 228 million eggs after its product caused hundreds of cases of salmonella poisoning in Colorado, California, and Minnesota. Maybe you should stick to Cap'n Crunch just to be safe. [Photo via Shutterstock]

Hot town, summer in the city! As the mercury rises so does tension and desperation. Hungry for a story, the New York Times dispatched a reporter to fry an egg on the sidewalk. Fun, right? No! Blogs are crying foul.

Easter. A time for chocolate, contemplation, and family. And, if you're a couple of kids in a Des Moines park, for finding a dead body while on an easter egg hunt. (We're not going to make a resurrection joke.) [AP]

A made-up report has revealed that the USA is the world's most laziest country of all. But while you're celebrating that with some funnel cake sticks, your more svelte fellow Amerkins have some ideas on whipping you into shape.

Harold Ford needs a better agent. He's got a plum gig speaking in Bermuda to a bunch of tax-dodgers next month, but in April he goes to Vegas to talk about chickens. As long as the check clears, right?