Outgoing White House spokesman Robert Gibbs started his press briefing after hours of delay this afternoon, and man, did he look terrified! Probably because there's a semi-revolution in a crucial American client state, currently. Will American turn on Egypt's president?

Things are moving quickly in Egypt today. Street protests have consumed Cairo and other major cities, and the army's been called out to quell them. A quick roundup of the latest news, below.

Related: Egypt on the Brink of Revolution [Photo via Getty]

[Protesters across Egypt are on the streets again today demanding an end to President Hosni Mubarak's 30 years in power. Mubarak has responded with violence, intimidation and censorship. Image via Getty]

Egypt's apparent blocking of Twitter and Facebook amid fierce protests this week was nothing: Now it appears they've blocked the entire internet, as well as text messaging. It's got the whole world watching and wondering: What's next?

Egyptian security forces have arrested as many as 1,000 people over nationwide anti-government protests. What's it like to be in Egyptian police custody? A Guardian reporter recorded his arrest: "We ran a gauntlet of officers beating us with sticks."

After blocking Twitter, Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarak's regime now seems to be cracking down on Facebook. When you're trying to violently suppress a mass uprising, after all, any unfettered venue for news and coordination constitutes a threat.

On Tuesday, tens of thousands of Egyptians took to the streets in Cairo and Suez, protesting the administration of President Hosni Mubarak late into the night. The protestors were gassed and beaten.

There's been a lot of arguing over whether Twitter enables political change, so it's worth noting that Egypt's dictators are sufficiently worried about the microblogging service that they banned it amid increasingly heated street protests.

Lena Fokina, the hardbodied Russian viral video star seen swinging babies here and here, is real. She teaches baby yoga for a living and raised two (seemingly) healthy daughters that way. And she just gave her first American interview!

The turmoil in Tunisia can be traced to an unemployed man who set himself on fire last month in protest, and now more people across North Africa are doing the same. Today, two men set themselves on fire in Egypt.

A German woman swimming in the ocean at Sharm el-Sheikh in Egypt was killed by (probably) an oceanic whitetip shark on Sunday. But it's just an isolated incident! If you don't count the three other attacks since Tuesday.

Can you spot the difference between these photos of world leaders at the Middle East peace talks? That's right! One was photoshopped by Egypt's state-run newspaper to put Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak in front of the group instead of behind.

An Egyptian farmer this week said one of his cows gave birth to a two-headed calf, after two hours of strenuous labor. The farmer, Sobhy el-Ganzoury, called it a "divine miracle." The animal is expected to survive.

Hisham Talaat Mustafa, a billionaire Egyptian real estate tycoon, was sentenced to death last year for paying a hit man to murder his Lebanese pop star girlfriend, Suzanne Tamim. Luckily, someone's remembered that he's a billionaire. Let that man go!

It never fails: you leave a little food on your plate and some liberal whines about all the starving children in Africa. Well, thanks to a new, cheap invitro program, there may soon be more hungry mouths to not feed...

An Egyptian woman watches the sunset over Cairo, Egypt, where President Obama is set to deliver a major speech on Thursday. [Photo by David Silverman/Getty Images]

Egypt just sentenced a billionaire real estate tycoon to die for killing his girlfriend, a Lebanese pop singer. In America, we protect the billionaires, and leave killings of music stars (Tupac, Biggie) unsolved forever. We can learn from these Egyptians!

Jetsetting nightlife trend update: It's not just Dubai that's the hot new destination for NYC club owners bored with drab Americans. Egypt will soon be an attractive stop for money-burning Eurotrash wastrels as well! Undaunted by the country's Islamic system of law and taboos against homosexuality, intoxication, and women doing things (party!), we hear that the Pink Elephant club moguls are building a club aboard a 26,000-square-foot, $100 million party boat that is scheduled to sail the Nile river this coming New Year's eve. I hope they have all their government payoffs in order.

US propaganda merchants, take note: Muslims are slaves to candy. They're attracted to its otherworldly colors; their foreign mouths water for its sinful sweetness. In this ad from Egypt, women are the sweet candy; the hijab face veil is the candy's wrapper; and men are the dirty flies. Uncover your face and be swarmed, ladies! (This is 100% accurate, it's just something Western women have learned to deal with). Click through for a larger pic and translation of this progressive message.