Whether you're cruising in Flushing or hanging at the Jay Street F train stop, you're probably used to being besieged by hot culty evangelicals in clean white shirts. It's totally cool with us, then, if you confuse the 12 beefcake calendar pinups of Mormons Exposed with twink porn. But the project is actually a deep spiritual journey intended to raise money for charity! Allegedly! We'd love to find out just how "deeply spiritual" Kenneth, Shane, J.D. and the rest of the gang really are. And also: they are supposed to be straight?!

The women of America were shocked this week when Calvin Trillin's essay about his wife, the one that made all of them cry for a month, or maybe two, was denied a National Magazine Award. It looked like a shoo-in, for sure! We're not accustomed to reading the Georgia Review, which won for Michael Donohue's "William Russell and Mary," about a guy who found an apartment in Park Slope seven years ago and then went through his dead landlady's stuff. (Whatever. Who hasn't?) But now we know why it won: because it totally trounces Calvin Trillin in the turgid overwritten weird elderporn department.

The Post ruined all our breakfasts with their cover this morning (seriously: "Judi gushes as Rudi rushes in"?? Ewwwww!!!) Because we're very considerate, we waited until almost lunchtime to bring you our analysis of the article inside, which features excerpts from the Judi Giuliani interview that will appear in March's Harper's Bazaar, as well as the scintillating non-news that Rudy has filed some important papers that bring him one step closer to officially declaring his presidential candidacy. Exciting! But not as exciting as the Giulianis' marriage. Praising Rudy's "testosterone factor," Judi crowed to HB,