Everything changed in the campaign. Paul Ryan changed everything. A sea change and a land change. Our bodies are heavy and made of metal. (The factory up the road donates it to the groundwater.) Parents no longer recognize their own children. Maybe it is no longer possible to blog.

TMZ is currently boasting a picture of a very chilled out, vacationing, shirtless Paul Ryan. And it appears that Romney's running mate has got himself a six pack. Or does he? What are those? Do those rippling stomach muscles qualify as a six pack? Let's hash it out in the comments below.

Who is the biggest bro in the presidential race? It's probably the most important question that we'll answer in this election cycle. Barack Obama drinks a lot of beer ("Consumer research," The Washington Post writes, "shows that beer is most popular with the very voters that Obama and Romney are fighting over: middle-America independents.") — but Mitt Romney has an M.B.A. Paul Ryan ("the frattiest veep candidate in American history") loves Rage Against the Machine — but Joe Biden went to the University of Delaware. So who can call himself the Bro Candidate?

Talking wooden doll Mitt Romney refuses to release any of his tax returns older than two years — but like the good sport he is, he provides us all with little clues about how much he's been paying. Like today: "I never paid less than 13 percent," he told reporters in South Carolina. "I think the most recent year is 13.6 percent." Thirteen percent, eh? "[A]nd if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why the number gets well above 20 percent." Sure, and if you add in addition any kind of numbers that aren't actually taxes the number gets even higher. [via Buzzfeed]

Human candy corn Donald Trump, a well-known Political Expert and Successful Reality-Television Business Actor, has a "big surprise" planned for the Republican National Convention. We know this because he tweeted it a few days ago:

You'd think the Romney campaign would've learned their lesson the last time they had a copyright issue. Or from any of the other prominent copyright snafus involving major political campaigns. But no, they didn't, and now they're beefing with 'alternative' rock group Silversun Pickups.

And the Romney campaign's contentious relationship with the media continues.

Here's Vice President Joe Biden creating an entire week's worth of Fox Nation content at a campaign stop in Virginia: "He said in the first hundred days, he's going to let the big banks write their own rules — unchain Wall Street. They're going to put y'all back in chains."

Should Mitt Romney and President Obama have visited the Sikh Temple of Wisconsin post-shooting?

This past weekend, Mitt Romney named Republican congressman Paul Ryan as his running mate, leading everyone to wonder: how will this asshole screw me, personally, if he is elected vice-president in November? Luckily for you, we have answers.

Everything went according to plan, except when it didn't.

Before Mitt Romney introduced Paul Ryan as his Vice President, Romney introduced him as the "next President of the United States."

Tim Pawlenty is being a good sport about not getting chosen as Romney's VP: he'll be campaigning at an ice cream social.

Leave it to the internet to spoil Mitt Romney's special day — late last night, NBC was reporting that Romney would pick Rep. Paul Ryan as his VP, and the internet all but confirmed.

Harry Reid's accusation that Mitt Romney is hiding something by not releasing his tax returns — specifically not paying taxes for 10 years — isn't going away any time soon.

Here's why you should vote for Roseanne for president, aside from the obvious. (She's Roseanne.)

So, okay. This is where we are, as a nation. On Monday, Barack Obama addressed a crowd in Stamford, Connecticut and described Mitt Romney's tax plan as "Robin Hood in reverse. It's Romney Hood." Yesterday, Romney told a Fox News reporter that Obama's terms are "Obamaloney." Everyone in America now has free rein to address both candidates as "Beavis."

Mitt Romney got a bit confused earlier today over the pronunciation of "Sikh" while discussing the recent tragedy in Wisconsin. According to the Associated Press, instead of correctly prouncing Sikh like "seek," he instead said "sheek" or "sheik," which is another name for an Arab leader. While confusing Arabs with Sikhs is perhaps not uncommon for some of Romney's supporters, it seems fair to say that this was probably an honest mistake; his people were quick to point out that the Republican presidential nominee prounounced "Sikh" correctly earlier in the week. But still, man, get it together, Mitt.

Harry Reid's crusade to get Mitt Romney to release his tax records is akin to McCarthyism, according to Face the Nation's Bob Schieffer.

We can stop badgering Mitt Romney to release more of his tax returns. It turns out he paid taxes — a lot of them — every year. So that's settled. Let's move on.