Mitt Romney, as expected, has won the Florida primary with a solid 14.5 point lead over Newt Gingrich with 96% of precincts reporting. Newt responded to the spanking in his usual gracious fashion with what sounded suspiciously like a victory speech (he didn't bother to congratulate Romney) and instead declared the Republican race henceforth a contest between himself, the "conservative leader" who is not actually leading in any credible polls these days, and the "Massachusetts moderate."

As Mitt Romney settles in to gloat over his inevitable victory in tonight's Florida primary, it is worth noting that he and the rest of the Republican candidates are still viewed as losers by an increasing number of Republican voters. A new Pew Research poll finds that the number of GOP voters who let out an annoyed sigh when you ask them about their crop of candidates is larger than even a few weeks ago:

The long, proud tradition of aging rock stars suing republican candidates for using their songs on the trail continued today. Frank Sullivan, Survivor's only true survivor and co-author of the song "Eye of the Tiger," filed a lawsuit against Newt Gingrich, who has taken to entering political rallies while the Rocky theme blasts on the PA system.

Mitt: please stop singing. It's not so much that you're a bad singer, it's just that President Obama is both pretty good and has better song selection. Also it's that you're a bad singer. Also it's that you're the most impossibly awkward human being to walk planet earth. My girlfriend has to hide her face when you start talking, Mitt. Just watch yourself (above, singing "America the Beautiful"; below, "Happy Birthday").

Snoop Dogg has posted this photo of Ron Paul with the text "SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY" overlaid and written "because i said so" in the caption, which may or may not be an endorsement, but if it is an endorsement then Ron Paul is not racist. [via Buzzfeed]

Here's former political person Sarah Palin continuing her weird quest to endorse Newt Gingrich without really endorsing him, telling weekend Fox News muppet Jeanine Pirro that Republicans should vote for Newt Gingrich now to "rage against the machine" and "annoy a liberal."

Newt Gingrich is not pulling any punches as he awaits his sure-to-be-staggering defeat by Mitt Romney in Florida. As reported by CNN, Gingrich made an appearance on ABC's This Week and said that Romney flat-out lied about his political past. Well, now I've heard everything.

Our old friend Herman Cain delighted the internet — if not the Gingrich campaign — by officially endorsing Newt Gingrich in Florida Saturday night. No, I can't say for sure that Gingrich didn't appreciate the plug, but I think the NBC News story said it best.

As a reporter, Tom Brokaw is dignified and unflappable — but you wouldn't like him when he's angry. A USA Today article quotes a statement Brokaw made via NBC in response to Mitt Romney's new "History Lesson" ad. The TV spot, which began running in Florida this weekend, is mostly footage from a 1997 Nightly News report on Newt Gingrich's ethics violation. And while Brokaw is admittedly rather sassy in the footage, he doesn't appreciate having it used out of context in a campaign attack ad.

The Washington Post is out with an excellent update on the history of the racist, homophobic, survivalist, nutcase newspapers that were published under his name in the 80s and 90s, which comes awfully close to confirming the most likely version of the story: He may not have written every word of them, but he sure signed off on them and wanted them written that way to pick up more subscribers and make more money.

God, Newt Gingrich blew it so badly in last night's debate. After lobbying for several days to allow debate audiences to cheer again, and landing Wolf Blitzer, the most destructible sally of a debate moderator in world history, he simply allowed Mitt Romney to take advantage of the crowd and win the debate and couldn't even scream Wolf Blitzer back into his cubby hole of sadness once.

A brief list of things you will see in this campaign ad for Republican congressional candidate Mark Oxner: bad special effects, a reference to a Cialis ad, a Guy Fawkes mask, slave-children rowing. It feels a little like a Ryan Trecartin thing? Or Tim and Eric? I don't know. Send it to all your friends. [via Wonkette]

Gawker's substantial Mormon readership has come through for us: Two readers have sent us confirmation that Edward Davies, Mitt Romney's militantly atheist father-in-law, was indeed posthumously converted to Mormonism by his family, despite the fact that when he was alive he regarded all religions as "hogwash." UPDATE: Romney's brother-in-law responds below.

Here's yet another reason that a viable Newt Gingrich presidential candidacy is in America's best comedic interests: It brings out his fellow scumbag crooks that he's worked with over the years to pledge their loyalty for his Restoration.

Except for that one clip of the two teenage girls fighting out back in the circle pit while the mother encourages them on, this one from a Newt Gingrich rally is about as good as videos of annoying Floridians being annoying (at length) come. This lady shows up and heckles Gingrich monotonously and without interruption for minutes — the first couple of which Gingrich engages her — while she staves off everyone calling her a moron, an asshole, and so on, until the camera is swatted away.

One of the creepier corners of Mitt Romney's uncannily flawless life story is the fact that he not only drew his bride, Ann Romney, over to his weird religion: He converted her entire family as well. This despite the fact that Ann's father, Edward Davies, was a committed atheist who insisted on raising his children without religion.

Newt Gingrich was campaigning on Florida's Space Coast today when he decided, fuck it, I'm pandering: "By the end of my second term we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American." Sure, why not. What about Mars? "Gingrich also said he would push to develop propulsion technology that would get man to Mars." He would merely "develop" the project. Such a cop-out.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi has now hinted twice that she has some super lethal dirt on Newt Gingrich that would prevent him from ever becoming President of the United States. "There's something I know," she told CNN yesterday, mysteriously, bringing up all sorts of questions: How did he kill that mailman, and on which side of I-95 between Virginia exits 12 and 13 is he buried... or is it something else? But alas, she knows nothing beyond the infinite amount of dirt that's already in the public record.

Our old pal to the South, retired Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, has been watching these Republican debates, including the most recent one in which the candidates talked about Fidel Castro going to Hell. He has not been impressed, writing in an editorial that "the selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized and expansive empire is - and I mean this seriously - the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been." But what if Mitch Daniels jumps in?

Orange hipster Brian Williams is getting some flack today for his egregious decision at last night's GOP debate to prevent Newt Gingrich's fans from applauding. And for its deadly dullness. What's worse, though, is that Williams would not shut up. He uttered almost precisely the same number of words last night as Ron Paul, who was ostensibly there as a participant.