Too cool to pay attention to politics but still need something to talk about at work on Wednesday? Here’s all you need to know about Tuesday's election results.
It might not surprise you to hear that prep school rivalry pranks are funny among the entrenched Washington classes. And last night, Republicans finally got revenge over an 18-year-old Democratic prank, involving a donkey who now hates Nancy Pelosi.
The reign of Barack Obama ends tonight! What? Oh, it's just Congress and governors and stuff. Let's keep liveblogging. Republicans have already won the House, but can they take the Senate? An unemployed nation waits.
Tomorrow's election map looks much like 2006's, but with the parties reversed: the ruling party will probably lose the House, possibly lose the Senate, and probably win a California gubernatorial election for consolation. Here's a preview.
Barack Obama's historic presidential victory aroused so much emotion: Tears on an Oprah level, ecstasy on a spontaneous street party level and anger at a loudly-interrupt-an-old-war-hero level. So Newsweek can't help but ask... did it turn you on? And did you then have hot, hope-filled change sex, or maybe change-filled hope sex, possibly ending in someone yelling "Yes We Can?" Because, seriously, that would be perfect. Read the magazine's written inquiry after the jump.
Election night might have been a hopeful triumph for most Americans, but it was an evening of screaming and insults for Canadian Sharilyn Johnson, according to the epic rant she just uploaded to Huffington Post. Johnson had to be in the live Daily Show audience on election night, because she's been watching everything Jon Stewart has ever done since 1994, is also super-into Stephen Colbert, has friends on staff, knows line-runners by name, etc. etc. Johnson (on left in photo) lined up a ticket seven months in advance, confirmed and reconfirmed, traveled to New York from Toronto, waited in line and then watched as her world ENDED.
He's not the most trustworthy source, granted, but Fox News host Chris Wallace claims to have heard that CNN is all embarrassed about its election-night holograms, which teleported the likes of singer Will.I.Am and correspondent Jessica Yellin into CNN studios in New York. Wallace, who serves as Fox's ambassador to the Godless liberals at the Daily Show, also maintains ties to CNN, via an old college roommate who is a technical producer there. He called this buddy at 5 pm on election night, resulting in the following exchange, according to Broadcasting & Cable:
As Barack Obama delivered his presidential acceptance speech, Oprah Winfrey prominently led the nation in a good cry. But when the cameras caught her, she was leaning heavily up against some white guy. Who was that?? Oprah basically owns Chicago, so the Sun-Times promptly deployed an investigative team to find out. The man is Sam Perry of California's Silicon Valley, he is an Obama volunteer and contributor, a former wire-service reporter, and basically one of the nicest guys ever, according to his wife, who should know. Her quote and a clip of the Daily Show making fun of Perry, after the jump.
Yes, Barack Obama promised his children a new puppy. The president elect also thanked his supporters and praised opponent John McCain as someone who has "endured sacrifices for America most of us could not begin to imagine." But he also seized upon his historic moment to highlight the changes that have swept America over more than two centuries, and to call, in a moment that recalled both the pageantry and message of John F. Kennedy before him, for a spirit of unified sacrifice in the populace.
Poor sad Matt Drudge lost his influence this year, forever, and no one cares about him or takes him seriously anymore. This was his headline a couple minutes ago, until he lost the question mark. Still, the inference is there: this is an illegitimate win. Matt will now probably lead not the MSM but the crazier fringes of the opposition. Not so much the ones working to formulate a new, smarter conservatism, but the ones who just retreat further and further into conspiracy theories and nuttiness. Goodbye, Matt! We'll be back as soon as hurricanes threaten Florida! [Drudge Archives]
Rupert Murdoch's pet Gotham tabloid may have endorsed John McCain and Murdoch's favorite lady politician, Sarah Palin, but the Post appears to be the first wing of the News Corporation empire to call the election for Barack Obama. The Post appears to have beaten even Murdoch's Fox News to the punch. It's a fast, scrappy call by a dead-trees publication. The paper's editorial page may declare McCain its true love, but the Post's front-page "wood" makes it clear Murdoch has plenty of love leftover for the Democrat (especially now that he's, uh, won). UPDATE: And after the jump, Murdoch's Wall Street Journal loudly puts Obama "on the verge:"
The above shot is from the swank party at Gawker Media overlord Nick Denton's SoHo loft. Obviously we can't all have elite LCD wall projectors and a fancy media crowd because some of us are stuck in John McCain's REAL America, or maybe Brooklyn. All the more reason to send us pictures of your electoral shindigs tonight. Help us diversify this post! Mail your shots (however blurry/explicit/incriminating) to tips@gawker.com or post in the comments. We'll keep your name out of it unless you tell us otherwise. (Elitist parties are OK too. Heck, encouraged, even.) After the jump, the exciting scene at Gawker HQ. UPDATE: And more! (Last new photo: 11:52 p.m.)
We just knew CNN's magical holodeck was going to be hours of fun: Here's political correspondent Jessica Yellin delivering a report to election-night anchor Wolf Blitzer and looking, as Yellin herself pointed out, like no one so much as Star Wars' Princess Leia. The election may remain uncalled, but the future is now! Click the video icon to watch.
The TV news networks have very exciting plans tonight, beyond just calling the election nice and early so you can accelerate your drinking! MSNBC, for one, is poised to bring back its fun, bitchy insanity: Though Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews were supposed to just be "analysts" on election night following their Democratic National Convention bickering, Matthews now says they'll be "hosts." Maybe Rachel Maddow, who has already taken Pat Buchanan in hand, is going to keep them in line. CNN will combat this combustible crew with an actual human transporter, like on Star Trek, reports the Wall Street Journal:
