You probably fancy yourself some sort of environmentalist. You watch Bill Maher! You watch Chris Hayes! Yes, and that is the problem.

Do you like to blast your jerky? If you've ever thought about blasting your jerky with a handheld electric-powered jerky blaster, you might want to think again. Federal regulators are recalling electronic jerky blasters, because they could scorch your jerky and a whole lot more!

NYC power company Con Ed has the highest electricity prices in the nation—"more than twice the national average price." Fuckers.

When Hurricane "Superstorm" Sandy hit New York, a large part of Manhattan— the wealthiest place east of the Taj Mahal— was without power for weeks. At least it wasn't unfashionable. According to a new report, blackouts are becoming the new normal.

Most of the time, the heart of our nation's capital is a monument to monumentalism, the neoclassical ostentatiously trying to pass itself off as the eternal. But for a few years at the end of the 20th century, the architectural stasis was interrupted by something weird and charming: the Washington Monument became a light-up cartoon version of itself.

If there's one thing that made this country great for the last two hundred years, it's the utility companies that built huge, fossil-fuel-burning power plants to pump out all the electricity this hungry, greedy nation could use. And how do we repay these fine industrialists now? By slowing down our electricity use. Is this Russia?

So, there's about a one-in-eight chance that sometime in the next decade the sun will unleash a massive solar fart and blow up the internet and all the computers, more or less:

Here is some unequivocally good news: The AP reports that New York's power grid is holding up "...So Far." Direct quote! Plus, "electricity demand typically jumps between 5 and 6 o'clock." That's, let's see...now! Everything's fine...so far. [Pic via]

Brownout! ConEd says it's decreasing voltage to some parts of Brooklyn by 8 per cent.