The cops who busted Lindsay Lohan mistook her drug stash for a crushed mint. Tinsley Mortimer faked a relationship. John McCain loves to gamble. Things get even dicier for The Office. Hump day's gossip is full of boobs.

Candy Spelling has a book to sell. And a $150 million manor to sell. Both are good reasons for the widow of Hollywood megaproducer Aaron Spelling to be talking to 20/20.

• "Time Inc. has selected Stockholm's Bonnier Group as the winner of the auction for the right to buy 18 of Time Inc.'s magazines. There was no immediate word on the price that Bonnier will pay, but the terms are in place and a deal should close within a month." That's what AdAge said, but then they pulled it. So who knows? [AdAge]
  

• NBC News layoffs: Dateline, Today hardest hit. Ann Curry still there, unfortunately. [LAT]
  

Congratulations to former ABC News anchor Elizabeth Vargas and husband Marc Cohn, proud parents of another baby boy. Little Severance Wyatt Cohn arrived on Wednesday weighing seven pounds, nine ounces. The boy was born with a "full head of hair" and the lifelong burden of having to hear how he killed his mother's career.

Joe Hagan ("Something of a snake" - Charles Gibson) takes a look at the race for the anchor's chair at ABC News. And what a look: There are more words in this piece than the evening broadcast has viewers. We understand that you're busy people who don't have time to read the War and Peace of second-place network news succession stories, so we've broken it down in convenient lesson form. After the jump you'll find all you need to know about Charles, Diane, the lady with the baby and the rest of them.

• Fortune editor to co-write Alan Greenspan's memoir. He's say he's excited, but that might be viewed as irrationally exuberant. [NYT]
• And Ted Turner will likely have a memoir coming, too. [NYP]
• More and more newspaper advertising is shifting to web. Um, duh. [NYT]
• Elizabeth Vargas needed that anchor chair like a fish needs a bicycle. Honest. [Phil. Inq.]

• "I do it because I have a small penis."
— The Daily News's Lowdown Lloyd Grove, in the new Details

• Time Inc.'s young guy-geared humor site, Officepirates.com, helmed by former Maximer Mark Golin, is slated to debut Feb. 22. Given the mag publishers track record with web ventures — Pathfinder, anyone? — we're sure the College Humor boys are terrified about the potential competition. [NYP]
• Who'd have thunk it: Cargo sells best with a hot chick on the cover. [WWD]
• World News Tonight anchor Elizabeth Vargas announces she's pregnant and will deliver in late summer — this ensuring that by the eight-month mark of ABC's latest dual-anchor experiment, neither of the two anchors will be on air. [ABCNews.com]
• At least there's one winner in the recent cartoon-induced global crisis: Newsweek, who people now realize probably didn't singlehandedly incite riots with a poorly sourced sentence. [MW]