See, this is why I will always stand behind Profnet as my preferred place for reporters to find sources for bizarre stories, no matter what cheaper competition comes along: because of Profnet's unparalleled sophomoric joke opportunities! For example, are you an expert on masturbation and all of its ins-and-outs, ha? Well "Em" of "Em & Lo," sex book authors and your source for "all things love, sex, and star related," wants to talk to you right away! And she'll happily promote your masturbation projects in return:

There are certain tics that New Yorkers have that you don't really find in other cities—asking people what they pay for their apartments, for one—and there's one that we just. can't. take. anymore. It's the "I've been living in [insert gentrified/hipsterfied/whatever-fied neighborhood here] for 10 years—it's soooo annoying now! But I can't leave, because I pay $650 a month for my one-bedroom apartment, because the landlord is this little old lady who hasn't raised the rent since 1989."