Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

The important thing to remember about out-of-office replies is that no one is ever happy to receive them. An out-of-office reply is your way of saying, to anyone who emails with a request, "You're out of luck, motherfucker – I'M GONE." Use them to list the dates you'll be gone and the name of an alternate contact person. Do not use them to trick people into reading all about your exciting life.