Is it Friday already? We know it is because we have an extremely advanced sun dial here in the office, and also because you can only hear the word "cunt" so many times before you know in your heart that the week is finally over. This week's Tail of Mears was made for you, by you.
As the end of the week in this concrete jungle comes to a close, we are pleased to share with you yet another batch of hateful emails detailing all our many failings. And you guys, things got weird this week. We learned that Max Read practices the Five Knuckle Shuffle in the office bathroom, that one man's wife treats him like a criminal and that is fine by him, and that another reader demands to speak with George Orwell. Immediately!
TGIF ladies and germs, and welcome back to the second installment of Tail of Mears, a new feature in which we publish some of the emails we received from you this week. How's that name, everybody? Any meerkats out there I'm offending? Please continue to hate-email/blog/tweet/comment if so.
Here at Gawker, we have an open door policy when it comes to our readers. We encourage you to send us your tips and your thoughts and opinions. Or rather, we don't give a shit about your opinions but we know you're going to send them to us anyway. You're a moxie group of aol users, aren't you? From death threats to sexual favors, it seems selfish to keep it all internal. So enjoy this small sampling of cock-filled, slime-ridden hand job offers that grace our inboxes each and everyday.
At around 3:17 on Wednesday morning, every student in NYU's Department of Social and Cultural Analysis received a bizarre "open letter" to NYU President John Sexton, from a student who claimed she'd been "forced" to do an ethnographic assignment on Occupy Wall Street. It was 2,800 words long, oddly typeset, and quickly followed up by another five equally eccentric emails. Someone sent us the full set of emails, which everyone at NYU—and elsewhere—was talking about. Want to read them?
Yesterday we introduced you to Mark Kelley, the literary agent with a particularly forceful, unsolicited brand of flair. Did Mark Kelley send a lengthy follow-up email last night, CC-ed to a bunch of investigative reporters, for some reason? Of course he did. Should we share this with you? Eh, why not.
Hackers have reportedly broken into Norway shooter Anders Behring Breivik's email account and turned the contents over to police in an effort to help their investigation. See, hackers aren't all amoral cybermonsters.
Jeremy Baumhower produces radio tours, bringing musicians like Nick Cannon to major radio stations across America. Since Hollywood child bride Courtney Stodden is, ostensibly, a country singer, he contacted her using the email address listed on her website. The resulting exchange is comedic gold. Updated.
Today, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D - Fla.), the chair of the Democratic National Committee, made a speech against the "Cut, Cap and Balance" bill that just passed the House. It was pretty mild! Less mild was the response of Rep. Allen West (R - Fla.), who sent Wasserman-Schultz an email. A very intense email, exhorting her to "shut the heck up."
Imagine a bargain hunter's shock and dismay when responding to an ad on Craigslist listing a bunch of possessions for sale and then receiving an email announcing that gay people, Muslims, and illegal immigrants aren't allowed to purchase the wares. Read it for yourself.
No matter what site you use, online dating can be absolutely horrible. Sure, some people find their match on Match.com but more often than not, the people you meet are crazy, critical jerks who have you running for the door within minutes. Let's look at one horrible email from an online relationship gone sour.
Over in the U.K. they like to stand by their traditions and do things a certain way. That still doesn't excuse Carolyn Bourne from sending an overly bitchy email to her future daughter-in-law, Heidi Withers, about her "rude behavior." Who is ruder here?
A young woman who works in show business emailed 15 friends last week with a tale about meeting director Quentin Tarantino at a party. She made out with him, took sexy pictures in a photo booth, and watched him whip out his "short," "fat," "nub-like" penis. She then had foot fetish quasi-sex with him, she claims.
Summer bargain alert! Come Friday, you can treat yourself to 24,199 pages of electronic messages sent between Sarah Palin, her husband/snowmobile maintenance man, Todd, and various Alaska state officials, for the low, low price of $725.97. (Sorry, no Palin-to-English dictionary included.)
