Do be careful before chastising any senior Goldman Sachs execs you happen to come across. Alice Schroeder of Bloomberg News reports beleaguered bankers at the firm have been loading up on firearms recently and "are now equipped to defend themselves if there is a populist uprising against the bank." En garde! [Bloomberg; photo: VF.com]

We've noted before how much Hollywood loves to destroy New York. But only the stuff of special effects, right? Well, no: Discovery tells us the wall of water smashing through Manhattan in Deep Impact may be closer to a nature documentary than you'd think. There's evidence that a tsunami slammed New York City over two thousand years ago and they suspect the giant wave might have been caused by an asteroid crashing into the ocean. They can't find the "smoking gun" yet—the crater. They looking for it off the coastline of New Jersey, where all weird things are located. Below, a reminder of what this might have looked like.

Do you shuffle through your day, dragging your feet and looking at the ground? Or do you practice your runway-model walk on the streets, prancing like a pony while maintaining a sexy glare? You're DOING IT RONG! Breaking: nobody knows how to walk properly. As the NYT Styles reports, if you're a precious, granola-obsessed, anal-retentive gentrifier, it's probably for the best if you pay someone money to teach you how to properly put one foot in front of the other. See, we were hoping that the recession would eliminate inanities such as these. But that is why the Styles section exists: to provide a way to spend money they otherwise would not know what to do with.

Once, homey French bistro Florent was a beacon of light in a somewhat dangerous 1980s Meatpacking district, where transsexual prostitutes roamed for tricks and nightlife kids flipped out on drugs and weird sex. Those freaks were our people. (This type of old-timer moaning is as old as the district itself.) Gradually, the neighborhood was zombified to the point where Florent was the only good place to go—the rest of the neighborhood was infected by a plague of boutiques, lame restaurants, bridge-and-tunnel nightclubs, and the Hotel Gansevoort. Today, smug Brits drunk off the power of the pound sterling migrate to the membership-only Soho House, while women from Jersey get trapped by their stilettos in the cobblestoned streets. Lumbering SUVs threaten everyone, and the only weirdos are the ones hanging out at the W. 14th Street Apple Store at midnight. With Florent's recent closing, there's no reason to go the neighborhood at all. Protect yourself! Here is a Meatpacking District "no-go zone" of areas you should avoid after dark. It's time to seal it off, and do what we can to save the rest of the city. (Click for our special map!)

"But Walter L. Wagner and Luis Sancho contend that scientists at the European Center for Nuclear Research, or CERN, have played down the chances that the collider could produce, among other horrors, a tiny black hole, which, they say, could eat the Earth. Or it could spit out something called a 'strangelet' that would convert our planet to a shrunken dense dead lump of something called 'strange matter.'" Wagner and Sancho are suing the Department of Energy, and others, in Federal court to temporarily halt work on a giant particle accelerator outside Geneva until scientists can satisfy them that it, and the universe, will not go BOOM.

The former New York Times Building will get totally cute cafes and clothing stores—maybe even a big box retailer, like T.J. Maxx or Target! It'll also be the new headquarters for the investment group that bought it, Africa Israel USA. We're sure they'll keep it classy. FYI, it shall be called the Times Square Building from here on out. [NY Sun]