Vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan addressed the RNC tonight. There wasn't any lipstick on his teeth, but he did possibly bend the truth a little.

In your gloomy Thursday media column: Eritrea is the pits (of journalism), Erin Burnett is unpopular, the WSJ Europe circulation scandal continues, The Guardian U.S. is optimistic, and Michael Miner is an OG (of journalism).

In your soggy Thursday media column: a rumored bid for Variety, Penthouse's owner has a cheap IPO, Erin Burnett's going to CNN, Slate's editor likes Slate, and a Reader's Digest recipe kerfuffle.

When Morning Joe tossed the broadcast over to Erin Burnett for the unemployment report, they interrupted a Christmas celebration that involved a bra cut in half and used as a gas mask and a farting reindeer doll. Merry craziness, everyone.

One of the few shows on television hosted by a man with the same name as the beverage sponsoring his show was faced with a crisis today: what happens when guests raise a toast with the competition's product on air?

It involves a violent Samantha Ronson confrontation. Sandra Bullock gets a mistress apology. Marc Jacobs breaks up with his boytoy. Bret Michael remains in the ICU. Mariah isn't preggers. Monday's gossip roundup has all the answers.

On Wednesday America was treated to video of the first lady's undulating rear when she competed in a hula hoop contest. Now the hip-swiveling sensation is sweeping the nation, one awkward female news anchor at a time.

• Is Harvey and Bob Weinstein's film company headed for bankruptcy? That remains unclear, although the Weinstein Co's decision to hire Miller Buckfire to restructure its finances isn't a good sign, that's for sure. [NYT]
• Members of the Boston Newspaper Guild are voting today whether to accept the package of pay cuts proposed by the New York Times Co. [PC]
• Stephen Colbert is broadcasting from Iraq this week. In addition to an interview with the president, Colbert will get a military-style makeover. [NYT]
• Journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee were sentenced to 12 years of hard labor by a North Korean court late last night. The Obama administration has vowed to keep up its lobbying effort. And in the meantime, employees at Current TV—where both women work—continue to keep quiet about the matter, per instructions from network management. [NYT, AP, NYT]

Did you know that CNBC is not a financial network? It is in reality a wacky summer coming-of-age movie. It's anchors are characters, and you, the viewer, are a mixed-up 14-year-old. Let's watch some clips:

• Jim Cramer hits The Daily Show tonight. And in what can only be interpreted as an effort to dial down the ass-kicking headed his way, Cramer is now claiming Jon Stewart is "his idol." Good luck with that there, Jim. [HP]
• Should CNBC's Erin Burnett really be making appearances on Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice? Maybe not: "NBC keeps testing the limits between news and entertainment in pursuit of cross-promotional synergy." [NYT]
• "Sully" Sullenberger has scored a two-book deal worth $3 million. [TDB]
• Ann Coulter "has been especially noisy in her self-promotion lately," which may have something to do with the fact her book isn't selling. [Portfolio]
• More and more TV shows are working the recession into storylines. [ABC]
• These are dark days for the newspaper biz, as you've probably heard. [NYT]
• More on Ross Douthat, the conservative blogger who has been hired by The New York Times to take over Bill Kristol's Op-Ed column. [E&P]
• Post staffers reflect on the life and times of Braden Keil, the paper's real estate columnist who died on Tuesday and who will be very much missed. [NYO]

The deeply wrong Jim Cramer took to the airwaves this morning to defend himself against cruel vaudevillian Jon Stewart, telling the Today Show's Meredith Vieira that sometimes it's OK to be wrong.

Who's to blame for the economic mess? Not CNBC, says CNBC anchor Erin Burnett! "Everyone in this country knew there was a housing bubble," she told Bill Maher last night. Is she the new Santelli?

CNBC hires only the finest financial minds, such as Erin Burnett. You say the Great Depression was bad? She says: "The invention of the chocolate chip cookie." Game. And. Match. [Click to watch]

• Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett of CNBC insist they aren't backbiting rivals. The business network said the Post created the rivalry from thin air. The Post said someone at CNBC "leaked" word of the supposed feud for free publicity and now everyone on the inside is trying to figure out who the leaker was. Which is believable, because it's not like they have anything better to do right now. [P6]

♦ Not only did Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony renew their vows at 3:15 a.m. in Las Vegas on Sunday, they did it in a joint ceremony with Mets outfielder Carlos Beltran and his wife Jessica. [E!, People]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson tell friends they're planning on dressing up as Todd and Sarah Palin for Halloween. [NYDN]
♦ Jay-Z couldn't get any London clubs to pay his $50,000 appearance fee this weekend. [This London Blog via E!]
♦ Is Suri Cruise lonely and sad because has no friends her own age? [P6]

A November Vanity Fair story explores the "rivalry" between CNBC "Money Honey" Maria Bartiromo and the rookie anchor eight years her junior, Erin Burnett, whom they dub the "Street Sweetie." Both broads deny the existence of said rivalry; Burnett suggests it's a "male fantasy thing" and Bartiromo speculates that "maybe at the end of the day someone is doing this, planting this, because it puts more attention on the network." And like: mission accomplished! The two look stunning in the mag.* But like, hey, you know what else puts attention on the network? The actually-more-stunning collapse of finance as we knew it! So what do these two babelicious brunettes make of all that: anything? We don't really find out! Vanity Fair is too busy ruminating on how sexist the whole business of broadcast financial news is. Oh yeah, and the story is called "Who Is Wall Street's Queen B?"Burnett is depicted as the naive, bright-eyed boarding school popular girl who never had to pay her dues because Maria, the elder elegant Brooklyn-born street hustling Italian trailblazer, did it all for her. Maria doesn't really try to understand the "kids today" or their slutty outfits, as we learn through this admittedly awesome anecdote:

♦ Will Project Runway move to Lifetime from Bravo? NBC won the first legal battle against PR producer Harvey Weinstein on Friday, which means it's not entirely clear where the show will end up. [NYT]
♦ The Sun may publish an issue tomorrow after all. [Portfolio]
♦ Tina Fey to the rescue: Saturday Night Live has seen a major boost in ratings so far this season. [THR]
♦ Vanity Fair on the face-off between Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett. [VF]
♦ An Indian version of GQ debuts this month. [Guardian]
♦ Howard Kurtz says unseen clips of Katie Couric's interview with Sarah Palin are on the way; CBS says it has released everything it's got. [HuffPo]
♦ The Times looks back at the drunken career of the Post's Steve Dunleavy, who's retiring after 41 years in the business. [NYT]
♦ The Wall Street Journal has launched a mail-order wine club. Really. [NYT]

♦ She's only been on the air a week but Rachel Maddow has already usurped Keith Olbermann in the ratings. [HuffPo]
♦ The New York Times Co. reported today that ad revenue in August dropped 14 percent compared to the same period a year ago and total revenue declined 8.8 percent for the month. [E&P]
♦ A libel lawsuit against author John Grisham has been dismissed. [AP]
♦ Is Al Gore buying a magazine? [Portfolio]
♦ The Atlantic's website has witnessed a surge of traffic thanks to those gross pics of John McCain drinking blood. [Portfolio]
♦ CNBC's Erin Burnett suggests that short-selling is unpatriotic; Jim Cramer says it may be terrorism. [CJR]

• Otherwise levelheaded Owen Wilson and scientologist Will Smith are being "driv[en] ... crazy" by Men's Vogue, which totally promised them the cover. [Daily News]