The vegan philosopher Morrissey tells us that "meat is murder," and for our vegetarian purposes he's correct. But murder is also murder, which is why you can't shoot your drug dealer even if he brazenly gives you hamburger instead of weed.

Remember to lock your doors! That includes the backseat of a paddy wagon! Unfortunately for the Russian Police, they must have assumed that the next guy would take care of that crucial step. Alas, the one that got away..

Good thing President Bush and his merry band of thieves have most of our troops over-extended in Iraq! "A brazen bomb and rocket attack on the main prison in southern Afghanistan has freed more than 600 inmates, many of them members of the Taliban. The destruction is evident following a brazen attack on a major Afghan prison...Using rockets and bombs Taliban militants were able to blow down the front gate of the facility, freeing more than 600 inmates-many of whom, officials say, have ties to the Taliban.The prison is in Kandahar." Video after the jump.

You gotta hand it to Katherine Heigl. In the last two years, thanks to plum roles in Knocked Up and on Grey's Anatomy, she's gone from the forgotten child star from My Father, The Hero (forgotten by everyone except pervs, that is) to an Emmy winning actress who's bumping her way onto the A-List. But along the way, thanks to a string of questionable PR snafus like publicly lambasting Judd Apatow and emasculating her husband Joshua at every conceivable turn, she's racked up more than her fair share of detractors. But being the determined ball buster that she is, she's not going to let a little thing like criticism get in her way of becoming her generation's Julia Roberts. Today, Variety reports that she is set to star in and co-produce Escape, based on the true story of Carolyn Jessop, whose memoir of escaping her polygamist husband became a best-seller. While it remains to be seen if this role will earn her a nod at the 2010 Oscars (if it walks like Oscar bait and talks like Oscar bait, it probably is), we can confirm that she won't be accepting any awards at this year's Emmys. As Tom O'Neil of the LAT's Gold Derby blog reports: