Police say they are currently investigating “multiple allegations of misconduct and abuse” at the Phillips Exeter Academy, one of the most prestigious private high schools in the country, where administrators last week divulged that a longtime teacher admitted to at least two cases of sexual misconduct.

Who's been left out of the Facebook fad? Not the gentry at Mark Zuckerberg's alma mater Phillips Exeter Academy, but the sorely un-trad being withheld from frighteningly diverse public education programs by home-schooling parents. They're white, anglo-saxon and protestant, too, why the exclusion from the frat-munity? Not to worry — Facebook's Christina Holsberry, a Leland Stanford Junior University graduate has decreed that you kids taught the narrowest of ideological positions have a place on Facebook. So rejoice, ye lambs, who will save us all yet from the sin that is evolutionary theory — may you generate many holy advertising impressions!