As if you needed another excuse to skip church: In Viareggio, Italy, 46-year-old Aldo Bianchini blinded himself and permanently scarred everyone else attending mass at Sant'Andrea church when, during the priest's sermon, he suddenly stood up, ripped his eyes right out of their sockets with his bare hands, then "collapsed to the floor in a pool of blood."

A Phoenix woman trying to use eye drops after cataract surgery grabbed superglue instead, sealing her eye shut. Why would you keep superglue near your medicine, anyway? Should we not be keeping our breath mints near our cyanide pills?

If your eyeball pops out, don't shove it back in, says CNN's popular new article "What to Do When Body Parts Fall Off." It's the Things Fall Apart of health articles. Let's enhance it with a DO and DON'T guide.

Scientists have isolated the genetic variations that make people more prone to nearsightedness, or myopia—which could in turn lead to the development of eyedrops to prevent the condition. Pretty futuristic! Though I was hoping for robot eyeballs.