Fifty-two-year-old Michael Kneitel is a man of principle. He will not rest until the $75 ticket he received for using the door between subway cars to escape a pissing passenger is overturned.

The NYPD is investigating a fight that broke out this past weekend between passengers on a Washington Square station-bound F train. The video, uploaded to YouTube on Saturday, is appropriately titled, "Man smacks the soul out of girl on the NY Subway."

An F Train was nearly bored into by a 10-inch-wide drill bit yesterday while traveling under an East Side Access construction site in Queens. There were roughly 800 passengers inside, and though the bit scraped the body of the train and shattered several windows, no one was injured.

Listen: I tried to talk to you about this last week, and it just doesn't seem like I'm getting through, but I'm going to give it one more shot. That used condom—you know the one, tied to an F Train handrail, sagging under the weight of its own viscous insides—it's still fucking there.

A 31-year-old Brooklynite stabbed his mother to death and slashed his father before running to Windsor Terrace's G-train station and throwing himself into the rails, to the horror of commuters.