Listen: I tried to talk to you about this last week, and it just doesn't seem like I'm getting through, but I'm going to give it one more shot. That used condom—you know the one, tied to an F Train handrail, sagging under the weight of its own viscous insides—it's still fucking there.

Hey, guys—quick thing I wanted to talk about: Let's say you had sex on the subway, or masturbated, heh, or maybe you did it at home, or on the platform, and then brought the condom onto the train, carefully holding it upright so that its gloopy innards didn't spill onto your hands, and tied it to a handrail.