Don't worry, you'll still be able to poke anyone you like, but soon Facebook will stop forcibly conjugating "to be" for you. Right now, Facebook's "status" feature automatically places an "is" in front of whatever you declare your status to be. For instance, "Aleksey Veyner is a douchebag."

There seems to be a sudden rush of New York Times employees onto Facebook—including Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., publisher. He has 61 friends! But Times spokesbot Catherine Mathis is not among them. What up? And: Send us screenshots please! We are loving his business casual picture! Update: Ah ha! The Times is a "partner" in "Facebook Ads", which is going live tonight. It makes more sense now!

Facebook's "secret" New York office is at 551 Fifth Avenue, just up from 45th Street. That is where we will all find adorable but nerdy and newly-rich boyfriends together. RACE YOU. GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE (SORTA) HOT. [Alley Insider]

I don't know about you but when I search Facebook for "Neal Pollack," I get two Neal Pollacks, neither of whom are the Neal Pollack that I want to find. (I'm looking for the Alternadad writer and blogger Neal Pollack who writes about his son so much!) But when I search from my friend's account, I get three Neal Pollacks, the last of whom is the Neal Pollack I want to find. How could we tell? Though we couldn't view his profile, we could view his friends. They include Timedouche columnist Joel Stein and his lovely wife, Cassandra Barry; Biblically-living author AJ Jacobs; Defamer editor Mark Lisanti; Gawker's once-upon-a-time editor Elizabeth Spiers; and Sloane Crosley, the indefatigable publicist. Come on, Neal! We want to poke you so hard!

So here's the scenario: You're idly perusing the online Rolodex of a new love or "luv" interest —his roster of Facebook friends—and you come across one or more instances of the following: "We hooked up and it was astonishing, obviously." "We hooked up and I'll never be the same again." "We hooked up and I felt connected to my body in a way I never had before. It was like being struck by lightning." What to think? Is your man some kind of slut analog of a Facebook Zombie or Vampire, but instead of "biting chumps" he is spreading whatever he has to spread IRL? Or is he a regular, relatively chaste sort of person whose friends think they are being funny?