Why does the tech world get a throwdown in Austin when the banks have had to cancel their bashes? The news out of South By Southwest shows that Web hipsters are every bit as bankrupt.

How much coffee did Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg drink before going on Oprah? We've never seen the 24-year-old Harvard dropout talk this fast. Instead of nervous pauses, he filled the air with spew.

Yep, Brownie's back in New Orleans. And your day editor is Facebook friends with him. [Politico]

Dear Facebook employee: If you're going to do something obvious and cliché like wearing cowboy boots to SXSW's geek spring break, please have the decency not to tell Twitter about it. Other Twitter idiocies today:

"What's on your mind?" It sounds like something a therapist might ask you on the couch. But it's become the new question Mark Zuckerberg is asking the world, as his latest Facebook design rolls out.

Who's the most popular guy in the midst of the worst economic crisis in decades? Why, none other than Nouriel Roubini, New York University's own Dr. Doom. He just got back from a world tour.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and Oprah share one goal: They want to know what you're feeling. Zuckerberg prefers you tell him via computer, though, so why's he going on her show tomorrow?

Every year, instead of heading to the beaches, geeks flock to Austin, Texas, to engage in a rite of spring called "South By Southwest." There's a conference, but who goes to that?

Mark Zuckerberg owns 27 percent of Facebook. That's great, right? Except Facebook is not worth $15 billion anymore (if it ever was). That means he's no longer a paper billionaire, says Forbes.

Whatever happened to Chris Hughes, the Facebook cofounder who joined Barack Obama's fledgling campaign in 2007 and powered it to victory using social networking? He's joined a D.C. PR firm. How crushingly disappointing!

Meet Officer Vaughan Ettienne, the bodybuilder who learned the hard way you shouldn't write like a thug online, or a jury might just suspect you of mistreating a suspect.

Mean-mom Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, bringer of order to Mark Zuckerberg's children's crusade, has turned the too-cool-for-school startup into a place where employees fill out employee surveys. At Facebook, though, they call them "awesomeness" surveys.

Peaches Geldof just made headlines in the London tabloids for announcing on Facebook she has "married" her lady DJ friend. It's a joke/publicity stunt, of course, but it did get us thinking:

The Weekly Standard's most florid wordsmith, Matt Labash, has unleashed 3,156 words of pure hatred on an unsuspecting Facebook. Not an undeserving Facebook, mind you, but unsuspecting — because isn't hating Facebook so 2007?

Facebook almost bought Twitter for $500 million last year. The deal didn't happen — but the service found a fan in 24-year-old Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. This morning, he revealed himself as "finkd" on Twitter.

Facebook is fun to use. But it's not a fun place to work — as confirmed by the defection of Net Jacobsson, a key executive in Facebook's effort to cash in on your life online.

The Valley's biggest players are all racing to be the center of your online life, collecting your photos, blog posts, Twitter messages, and comments into one stream — and then dosing it with real-time ads.

CNN analyst, New Yorker writer, alleged affair-haver, and big Facebook fan Jeffrey Toobin recently updated his Facebook status to "married." He's actually been married for years! Click through to see the outpouring of interest:

Facebook's failed $500 million offer for Twitter? Totally happened.

"Once every hundred years, media changes," Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said in 2007, predicting a sea change in online advertising. The reality: His social network is leading the way in online scams.