When we ran screenshots of Facebook's new profile pages back in late February, what you saw was a classic Mark Zuckerberg production. A source close to Facebook tells us the profile redesign was Zuckerberg's pet project, his baby. Well, that baby is dead.

We know what Facebook cofounders Mark Zuckerberg, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes are up to. Zuck lets COO Sheryl Sandberg run most of the company now while he plays industry visionary; Moskovitz is hiding from Valleywag's fearsome scrutiny; and Hughes is busy spamming your inbox with updates from Obama campaign director David Plouffe — sorry, revolutionizing politics on the Web. But where have unacknowledged cofounders Andrew McCollum and Eduardo Saverin gone? Their Facebook profiles aren't open to the public, but rival social network LinkedIn isn't nearly so skittish. Here are their profiles, with our notes:

Dustin Moskovitz, Mark Zuckerberg's Harvard roommate, recently stopped speaking to him. This has made things awkward at Facebook's Palo Alto campus, as Moskovitz is the last reminder walking around that Zuckerberg was not Facebook's sole founder. The two have resumed talking, but Moskovitz, seeking to dissociate himself from his college chum's creation, had dropped the title of vice president and asked for his bio and photograph to be taken off the company's PR website. He's now taken the title of "technical lead," and is working behind the scenes on Facebook's infrastructure. (Moskovitz was not always so publicity-shy: He gladly spoke about Facebook's wireless initiatives at the CTIA conference last fall, and, in a comment left after this post was published, denies a rift and blames Valleywag for his lowered profile.) Why the reported split, after they've worked together so long?

Hey guys, big news from the University of Oxford Press Blog today. Big news. The internet and cell phones have changed—possibly even revolutionized—the way kids keep in touch with one another. Instead of catching up with acquaintances, people just follow their away messages. (Note: I'm almost positive away messages have something to do with Instant Messaging, which is like a faster form of email, but I'm not 100%.) And sometimes people use their cell phones not to talk but to send text messages, a form of written communication sent through phones. Oh, and also this is rotting the very foundations of civilized society. More ground-breaking news after the jump.

What's in Facebook's "Insider's Guide to Viral Marketing?" "Really nothing compelling," social media marketer Alisa Leonard tells us. "They basically expanded their online step by step business page sign up process and made understanding [Facebook] pages idiot proof (read: CMO-proof)." The reason why Facebook is pushing Facebook Pages: They're a key advertising feature whose launch was obscured by the privacy fracas over Beacon last fall. What would really have made it friendly to chief marketing officers: Trimming it down from 7,533 words. We've embedded the whole thing below, but first, read a 100-word version that could fit in your Facebook News Feed.

So yesterday we published screenshots of blurry actress Lindsay Lohan's Facebook page. The page has now been either deleted or hidden behind lots and lots of privacy walls, but our images will linger on forever! What can we learn from them? Well, she used her friend/maybe lover DJ Samantha Ronson's last name, she was friends with a reality star Lauren Conrad, a "Hiilary Duff," supermodels Jessica Stam and Lauren Hastings (with whom she is having some sort of spat), former prostitute Jason Preston, internet socialite Cory Kennedy, and lots of other infuriating people. She also tried to explain away some recent drunk-looking photos, by reporting that it was "430 am!!!" In case you haven't had enough, after the jump we've included screenshots of "Wall" postings that Lindsay Ronson left on other people's pages. According to these, she WILL be at Coachella.

When Lindsay Lohan falls off the wagon, she falls hard. So hard, in fact, that she spent this past weekend traipsing around New York in what appears to be a long and eventful whopper of a bender. As we reported yesterday, Lindsay spent her Saturday night downing Grey Goose with new roomie Samantha Ronson before promptly (and nostalgically) passing out in a car. But today's NY Post informs us that the night before was far more eventful. Tagging along with Ronson to the Beatrice Inn on Friday night for one of the chain-smoking DJ's gigs, whatever mysterious substances were floating through Lohan's system manifested into a screaming match directed towards teeny tiny Ashley Olsen:

We already knew that before Facebook hired Google ad boss Sheryl Sandberg as COO in early 2008, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg interviewed former eBay executive Jeff Jordan for the gig in 2007. What we didn't know, until a source familiar with Facebook told us, is that Zuckerberg actually offered Jordan the job. Jordan turned the offer down and took over as CEO at OpenTable instead. Why was Jordan so comfortable spurning a pre-IPO social network gaining users at a rate of 3 percent a week? Our source says the infamous workaholic blamed it on Zuckerberg's propensity to sleep-in. "It was a cultural thing," our source says. "Jeff has two kids and needs to keep a regular schedule. Mark doesn't show up at the office till 11."

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Over the years, Charlie Rose has hosted Silicon Valley titans like Wired editor Chris Anderson, Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos, and Google cofounder Sergey Brin on his late-night public television interview show. When Facebook launched its Beacon advertising program in New York, Rose played master of ceremonies. But not until now, with the discovery of this clip titled "'Charlie Rose' by Samuel Beckett," has Rose effectively explicated the industry.

In the clip embedded below, an Obama supporter demonstrates how "someone hacked into Barack Obama's site" and changed a link into Obama's Community Blogs so that it instead directs users to Hillary Clinton's home page. We're shocked. Obama's Web presence is the product of Facebook cofounder Chris Hughes. Anyone familiar with that platform knows it's entirely resilient to human error or internal corruption. The video demonstrating the hack:

New Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg did not get the job because she has any grand vision for the company. The self-described "tough-love leader" is at Facebook to clean things up. She can start with Facebook's messy ads. Sometimes they're laughably mistargeted; at other times, they're abundantly unsafe for the office; and on occasion, they actually cause Facebook to lose clients. The five most inappropriate Facebook ads our tipsters have told us about, below.

Facebook has great features for users, but is having a hard time selling ads. The Beacon program attempts to get agreements from companies to pay Facebook in return for broadcasting purchasing information to friends as an indirect endorsement of the brand. Users revolted, and now Blockbuster, not Facebook, is getting sued for giving up a customer's data — not exactly an incentive for advertisers to sign up with the company's next "revolutionary" scheme. Meanwhile, Facebook can't even get the most basic demographic targeting right. Boinkology points to the case of Peter Knox who, while listed as "straight" in the Facebook database, can't seem to get away from come ons to talk to hot, gay men. Either Facebook's ad-placement algorithms are so good they can even pick up on latent homosexuality, or the company can't even run a basic query against user-selected preference in order to target ads.

Target's ad buyer, Stephen Dwyer, said the Valley needs to better educate buyers by sharing data. Coca-Cola's Tara Scarlett agreed and added that website owners have to explain to ad agencies who their users are and why they're valuable. Or, as two ignorant bloggers explained to David Spark at last night's Revision3 party, "Ad buyers, they're like junkies. And the people who sell advertising are like drug dealers. Facebook needs to better explain how to pack the crack pipe and smoke it."

When Facebook isn't invading privacy, it's occasionally rolling out features we don't despise. Their new application Lexicon culls words and phrases from users' walls to create fun charts. In the "party tonight" "hangover" match-up, the latter curiously tends to spike shorty after the former. (Click image to enlarge). Another comparison reveals that people "lol" way more than they "omg." Well, if the kids don't have god, at least they have laughter. Hit up the comments with other fun conclusions about the modern era drawn from the Facebook lexicon. [via Fimoculous]

To track the frequency of words in Facebook Wall posts, the social network has created a Lexicon feature. Programmer-gadfly Ted Dziuba suggests this search: "pregnant, tequila."

In this excerpt from Harvard alumnus Aaron Greenspan's book, Authoritas: One Student's Harvard Admissions and the Founding of the Facebook Era, Greenspan gives an example of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg copying a feature idea from Greenspan's own Harvard project, HouseSystem.

Aaron Greenspan's Authoritas, a self-published history of his time at Harvard with Mark Zuckerberg, is full of passages the Facebook founder would rather you not read. In this excerpt, Greenspan recounts the moment when, as a member of Harvard's Student Entrepreneurship Council and creator of the
HouseSystem Face Book, he met a supersecretive wantrepreneur named Mark Zuckerberg.

Facebook lawyers want to bar Aaron Greenspan, a Harvard chum of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, from marketing his new book, Authoritas: One Student's Harvard Admissions and the Founding of the Facebook Era. Their rationale: It uses the company's trademarked name improperly in the title. But their real goal is surely quashing Greenspan's story. In this excerpt from Greenspan's tell-all, the author argues that Zuckerberg stole the name Facebook from Greenspan's creation, HouseSystem.

Sheryl, Sheryl, Sheryl. Was it something we said? Come on — Valleywag adores you! Remember how we recommended Mark Zuckerberg hire you away from your job as Google's top advertising-operations exec to replace Owen Van Natta as Facebook's COO? Zuckerberg took our advice, and we're growing happier with this call every day. The latest reason why: In your farewell address to Google's AdWords team, you said that you're going to "shoot the guy who writes Valleywag."