Mallory Simon works for "the most trusted name in news." But she's working hard to make CNN also the most trusted name in news feeds. Simon gives CNN.com readers every detail of when and how Eliot Spitzer's call girl, Ashley Alexandra Dupré, changed her MySpace and Facebook profiles last week. But at 1,000-plus words, Simon overstays her welcome. Instead of paying writers by the word, why don't we pay them to leave? The 100-word version, below.

"No worries hang in there...i single if your interested." — Mike Marra, commenter on Ashley Dupré's Facebook wall, indicating why some women might prefer $4,300 dates to old-fashioned romance.

We hear that Facebook has purchased Social.im, the instant messaging application built on top of Facebook. This jibes with Michael Arrington's report that Facebook is about to launch an IM service. Mogad, the company behind Social.im, also took investment from Facebook backer Peter Thiel. Update: "If we're being bought, I haven't gotten the call yet," says Mogad CEO Yanda Erlich. In a now-deleted blog post, he also poked coy fun at the now-debunked rumor with this fake IM exchange:

In the wake of his SXSW keynote talk with BusinessWeek columnist Sarah Lacy, is there anyone Mark Zuckerberg hasn't granted an interview? Caroline McCarthy, Stacey Higginbotham, and Nick O'Neill landed chat time with Zuck. Who, you ask? Exactly. Zuckerberg used to privately tell colleagues he didn't want to talk to anyone besides Wall Street Journal reporters (an obligatory move, while he was raising money) and Fortune's David Kirkpatrick (a man constitutionally incapable of writing an unkind word about a tech mogul). That he's talking to anyone who will listen suggests that Zuckerberg is trying to change his ways. He needs to stop, now, before he does more damage to his personal brand.

Below, a most thorough impersonation of Eliot Spitzer's call girl turned chanteuse, Ashley Alexandra Dupré on Facebook. Why should MySpace have all the fun?

Guess who my new Facebook buddy is? Go ahead, guess. All right, I'll tell you. Eustace Tilley. Okay, not the Eustace Tilley, but I am now officially a fan of the New Yorker on Facebook. That magazine is so hip — first they hire cool kid reporters Kelefa Sanneh and Ariel Levy and now they're on Facebook! I have a link to my awesome blog on my Facebook account, do you think David Remnick will check it out? He'd definitely see from my elaborate explanations of what I did last weekend that I could be the next voice of the magazine. Do you think facebook messaging him some poetry I did in high school would be too much? [via ETP]

There are already 13 Facebook groups about Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the object of New York governor Eliot Spitzer's paid-for affections. Some are supportive, some are complimentary, and some are ridiculous. Among the more amusing group names are "Ashley Alexandra Dupre is the next American Idol", "Ashley Alexandra Dupre (Ashley Youmans) was in my Class!" and "I don't care WHO or WHAT she did, Ashley Alexandra Dupre is effin gorgeous!!" And Facebook is worth $15 billion? Just sayin'. See the full list below.

Facebook is the ultimate journalist tool: it's the easiest way to track sources from a particular demographic. It's also the easiest way to find incriminating photos of someone online. So knowing the rules of the game, the BBC has set limits on the Facebook profiles of their staff, at once defending their online privacy while invading it. The BBC is doing it to protect their brand. It's true: all their hard work would be lost if one of their reporters was ever caught doing a brandy snifter pyramid, or whatever the British equivalent of a keg stand is. [Guardian]

Ever since Mark Zuckerberg launched an iPhone-friendly version of its website last August, MySpace's Tom Anderson and Chris DeWolfe have been scrambling to catch up. The two have put a small team, likely under Jason Ling, MySpace's head of mobile development, on a MySpace app for the iPhone. Electronista thinks the rumored app is being worked on by part-timers. Our sources say it's a larger project, with the codename Operation IFMD. Anyone know what that stands for, other than "I'm F—-ing Matt Damon"? And while we're at it, screenshots?

You don't even want to know the hit his "Compare People" rankings took. [Facebook]

News.com's Caroline McCarthy cornered Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg at SXSW and asked him when Facebook would make the kind of philanthropic efforts that Google and Microsoft do. Not yet, Zuck said. ""We're not incredibly profitable, we're not at that stage." For now, he said, people should remember that Facebook itself is a charitable gift to the world.

Mark Zuckerberg meets the black internet widow.

AUSTIN, TX — A confession: Between the rain pouring down and the rumors pouring in, I didn't even make it to the Austin Convention Center today for any of SXSW's official programming. A show veteran granted me absolution: "No one makes it to the third day." The third night, however, was not optional. The hot ticket: Facebook's Get.friends party at Pangaea. The Crush party at Six Lounge a half-block down Colorado Street was the chill-out alternative. Scott Kidder and I hopped between the two, snapping pictures all the while. Mazyar "Mazy" Kazerooni of OpenHulu fame joined up for the party tour. At Six, I found myself sandwiched between Sarah Lacy and Julia Allison, SXSW's two controversy magnets. Back at Pangaea, I spotted Dave McClure grooving ecstatically to BT, the electronica artist Facebook evangelist Dave Morin picked for the event. (Don't tell Morin: BT has a MySpace page.) The afterparty? It took so long to get going anywhere that we ended up having it outside on Colorado Street, where Wired's Megan McCarthy administered breathalyzer tests. More photos:

Alas, no punchline. Both the R.E.M. singer and the Digg CEO were on hand at Facebook's Get.friends party at SXSW. Who was treated more like a rock star? Not the guy who beat Wired editor Chris Anderson in a sing-off.

Microsoft's $200 million is not all going to buy servers, as Mark Zuckerberg would like you to think. He splashed out $50,000 to rent Pangaea, an Austin nightclub, for the week, or so a doorman said as he turned away a local the other night. Pangaea is part-owned by Ken Howery of the Founders Fund, a Facebook investor. The payoff of this cozy arrangement: When Zuckerberg needed to do damage control a day after his tragicomic keynote interview, he had a stage at the ready. (Photo by Yelp/Kevin N.)

AUSTIN, TX — 4:32 p.m. Central Time: Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg takes the stage at Pangaea, a downtown Austin bar. The crowd is standing-room only all the way back. "As if yesterday's interview wasn't enough fun," he wryly notes as he opens the floor for questions. First question is about the Facebook Wall. The developer wants more access to write software that gets and writes posts to Facebook users' profiles. Zuckerberg doesn't answer the question.

At Sunday's SXSW afterparty, Facebook fanboy Dave McClure acquired a fan club: Facebookers Web-video auteur Randi Jayne (née Zuckerberg) and Brandee Barker, chief damage-control officer. More photos from the party, after the jump; your best headlines in the comments.

Admit it: Attractive women intimidate you. So you'd like to blame yesterday's keynote travesty on Sarah Lacy. She talked way too much, it's true. But Zuck's problem is tha he doesn't know how to hold a conversation like a human. He's more like Summer Glau's Terminator in the Sarah Connor Chronicles: He refuses to respond to any sentence during an interview that doesn't start with a who, what, where, when, or why and end with a lilting vocal question mark. Zuck, we're here to help. We know you're too busy to read "How To Master The Art of Conversation." For you, sir, the 100-word version.

Barack Obama won another caucus last weekend. Did you even notice? He holds a pledged delegate lead over Hillary Clinton, and it is looking increasingly unlikely that that lead will shrink as we approach the Democratic National Convention. Nor does it seem likely that either candidate will surge ahead in the upcoming primaries enough to clinch the nomination with pledged delegates alone. Which means that it comes down to Superdelegates, the party bigwigs named by the DNC to make sure we don't end up without another Jimmy Carter. They are beholden to no one, they may align themselves with whomever they wish. And while we know many of them as our elected representatives, some of them, like members of the College Democrats and the Young Democrats of America, are just some drunks on Facebook. A Gawker operative compiled this charming gallery of the youngest Superdelegates (we're reasonably assured of their accuracy) demonstrating their superiority over you, the lowly voter, in this grand democratic experiment. Also they are singing karaoke and smiling happily before the grave of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.