Just a few short weeks ago, a gaggle of the biggest names in music gathered to announce Jay Z’s new streaming music service, Tidal. I remind you of this fact because, statistically speaking, you’ve probably already forgotten about it: Tidal is now the 50th most popular music app in the iTunes store, and doesn’t even crack the top 700 overall.

BuzzFeed's McKay Coppins has a wonderfully viral-distribution-ready piece of political analysis today: "Was Mitt Romney Right About Everything?"

Have you ever shopped at a "Fresh & Easy?" No, me neither. (If you said "yes," you are an outlier, you are not representative, do not answer any more rhetorical questions.) You probably haven't shopped there because Fresh & Easy has "a novel store format that is bigger than a convenience store but smaller than a supermarket, and focused on fresh-food offerings." No wonder it's going out of business.

Maricopa County, Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio has earned his status as "America's Worst Sheriff" mostly for being proactive in his awfulness and insanity. But he also deserves his title for the many things he does not do—such as "his job."

MySpace's revenue for the year ending June 20 will be just $109 million, according to documents distributed to potential buyers of the dying social network. Just a few years ago, the company was pulling in upwards of $900 million.

We're just one week into the New Year and guess what? We have our first bank failure! The First Commercial Bank of Florida was closed by the FDIC on Friday, and it will only cost $78 million. Not bad.

In a new video interview, recently departed Tribune "Innovation officer" and clown Lee Abrams is "Setting the record straight" about his failed tenure at the failed company. "I probably picked the wrong kind of environment," he acknowledges. Aw.

The billion-dollar high-tech "virtual fence" on the US-Mexico border is a worthless failure.

As rumored and expected, Tribune Co. CEO Randy Michaels is said to be ready to step down this week, to be replaced with an executive committee. On Michaels' way out, we get to hear several more stories of his sexism!

Lindsay Lohan failed a drug test for cocaine and now TMZ reports she failed a second test, this time for amphetamines. Possibly it was due to her Adderall prescription. Update: An arrest warrant has been issued for LiLo.

What with all the selling of kids, and terrorizing of kids, and forcing kids to fight, and dressing kids as Hitler, you may have assumed that parents today could not get any worse. Wrong! They can also ignore their kids.

The Large Hadron Collider Doomsday Machine was ready to shock the world today with a huge explosion that normal people cannot understand. But it failed. The Guardian's live blogger was disappointed. Update: It worked! But we're still alive.

Martin Luther King. Jr. made the Southern Christian Leadership Conference one of the greatest civil rights groups of 20th century America. Today: their target demographic asks, "Who are they, exactly?" You're not that interested, are you? That's the problem. [LAT]

The most surprising revelation in Ad Age's story on Bud Light's failed "Drinkability" ad campaign is that "Drinkability" was apparently supposed to be an actual thing—the "ideal rational benefit," the consultants said. Haha. Really? Shut up. Really? "Drinkability?"

In order to "take some of the angst out of" the subway experience, the MTA has spent nearly $400 million on those countdown clocks that tell you when the next train is coming. (No time soon.) [NYT. Pic via]

New Yorkers are prepared to face anything when they step into a public bathroom, except a crapper that cleans itself. That is too bizarre.

Oh, Tucker Max: he gave sleazy Encyclopedia Brotanica-eque website AskMen.com an interview. Given the chance to speak freely, he starts his egomanical blame game all over again. This time, blame: Middle America, The Man, His Artistry, and His Producers. Awesome!