While you burn your tongue on loveless Sanka and nibble your stale Otis Spunkmeyer muffin, let your eyes drool over the inaugural menu for the latest feat of Conde Nast, their new Star Trek cafeteria located at the former Fairchild offices at 750 Third Avenue. Today employees will be treated to food from the Dominican Republic, like chicken chicharron, or the more timid may enjoy grilled swordfish with graffita and eggplant caponata. Since the joint is wrapping up its first week of operation, it's okay to eat a little, just this once, in honor of the occasion. But don't even think about touching the fried calamari and chipotle mayo. That's just there to test your fat ass.

• Another Apple Store in Manhattan? Are you fucking kidding us? [Curbed]
• The Constitution does not allow Times photographers to take pictures of bridges. It's, like, written in a secret amendment or something. [The Daily Politics]
• WWD, left high and dry by the departure of media reporter Jeff Bercovici and the impending escape of Sara James, hires Irin Carmon, who graduated from Harvard two days ago and has since been freelancing all over the damn place. [The Media Mob]
• On behalf of America, Adam Carolla hangs up on Ann Coulter. [Chortler]
• A Spin without Andy Pemberton means a Spin without a sex columnist. Say goodbye to Joanna Angel. [FishbowlNY]
• The Conde Nast cafeteria comes to the newly absorbed Fairchild, bringing with it a spaceship atmosphere and Balthazar croissants. [NYO]
• Come this fall, figure skater Johnny Weir shake his thing on the Bryant Park runway for Heatherette. You go, girl. [NewNowNext]

Wenner Media has lost yet another soldier: Carlos Lamadrid, publisher of Men's Journal, has been daintily adopted by the minxes at Jane, which was apparently in need of a new manslave to serve as their publisher. Not that it would be too hard for the Fairchildren to pluck when they did: Men's Journal EIC Michael Caruso just left the publication, and working as a publisher under Jann Wenner is about as challenging as nodding your head enthusiastically at the appropriate intervals and bending over when asked.

So, uh, what the hell is going on over at Jane? Okay, what with Hurricane Zed and DeLay being indicted and Britney's new baby, we're sure the state of affairs at the girly mag is hardly at the top of your mind. But maybe it should be! After all, Keith "Mad Dog" Kelly confirmed our earlier report that since Jane Pratt stepped down from the helm at her semi-glossy brainchild, the Fairchild title has been melting off its staff like the fat on Star Jones. Speaking from Milan, new Jane EIC Brandon Holley comments that the recent departures (including managing editor Debbie McHugh) are normal for any regime change, and notes that new editors have already signed on.

Newly-crowned Jane EIC Brandon Holley has officially settled into her throne, and with her arrival comes the inevitable changes to the mag's starting lineup. Today's WWD reports that Kusum Lynn will be taking over for Sciascia Gambaccini as Jane's new fashion director; Lynn previously held the same position at Nylon. For her consolation prize, Gambaccini will remain at Jane as a contributor.

This week has been all about Jane: Why Pratt left her eponymous magazine, whether or not the glossy has an identity crisis, and its future under new EIC Brandon Holley. Interestingly, Folio suggests that perhaps Pratt didn't leave as voluntarily as she might have us think:

Relish this moment, for it may be one of the few displays of genuine emotion you will ever see on Gawker: We are very sad — nay, heartbroken — to learn that Jane Pratt, the one-woman roadshow behind Jane magazine and the founder of the truly fantastic Sassy, is stepping down from her editorial throne. Say what you will about the magazine's mixed messages (in her most recent letter from the editor, Pratt herself acknowledged that some skanky cover girl choices were a matter of making money), but Jane was the one women's magazine that didn't consistently inspire self-loathing. In fact, we always felt a hell of a lot better about ourselves after reading. And sure, whoever replaces Pratt (uh, we're available!) will no doubt carry her torch of awesomeness, but, well, it just won't be the same.

Oooooo. Some interns got in trouble.