Anti-anti-sexism expert Christina Hoff Sommers has repeatedly warned America that boy-hating educators are forcing children to play namby-pamby things like "Circle of Friends," in lieu of traditional, vigorous games of tag. "Circle of Friends," Amanda Hess discovered, is freeze tag.

One funny thing that homegrown American sweetheart Jennifer Lopez did recently was to make this Fiat commercial about her love for the Bronx without actually leaving her platinum-coated soundstage in L.A. at any moment. As if Jennifer Lopez would be caught dead in a Fiat! Right? Anyhow, they also apparently used the huge TATS Cru "I (Heart) The Bronx" mural without permission.

It's become clear that even legitimate universities are, for many, a hugely overpriced scam. So how bad of an investment do you think those "for-profit colleges" like the University of Phoenix are? Let's just say... fucking awful, horrible, STAY AWAY.

As we have pointed out in the past, "juice cleanses" are bullshit, scams peddled by sharps to to sucker the desperate. Still, today brings yet another first-person trend story about juice cleansing. But—progress is being made!

The American Apparel ad spoofer has returned! (It's still nonexistent, though).

Kids these days continue to disappoint us all. In my day, we had fake drugs like salvia, that really worked. Now, kids are trying to get "high" with "i-Dosers"—digital sounds, on computers. Oklahomans are worried.

Who says that Americans are a bunch of lazy suckers who believe that they can get in shape only by purchasing video games and fancy gizmos? Now, Americans know they must instead purchase magic swimsuits and pseudoscientific shoes. Fitness ahoy!

Oh hell, Reebok is now using even more gratuitously porny buttock photos to enhance the bullshit buttocks-toning promise of its allegedly buttocks-toning magic shoes, which are—god—so fake. Try attaching handles to the model and doing deadlifts, instead. [Copyranter]

"Nescafé has found an avid market [in Singapore] for coffee with collagen, a protein found in connective tissues, on the theory that ingesting it will improve skin." Which is false. Also: eww, gross, throwup. [NYT. Pic via]

Yesterday we brought you the ridic story of the purported "Rape Tunnel," where Rape Artist "Richard Whitehurst" would rape anyone daring to crawl through. Alas, it was just another art hoax. Our field trip is canceled.

The biggest problems with the New York Times: fluff stories being given prominence, a withering reporting staff, and credulous hacks ready to put lies from politicians on page one. Welcome to 1964.

Glenn Beck cries all the time because he's incapable of regulating his emotions. Also, it's a good image. Here's some deeply creepy and oddly transfixing behind-the-scenes video of Beck mugging and crying for the camera at his GQ photo shoot.

OK!'s cover this week shows Suri Cruise and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt on an adorable playdate! Now, let's look at the two separate photos they stitched together to create this Frankenstein-like Photoshop:

Remember LonelyGirl15, that fake-ass scripted YouTube series that got really popular for a minute when everybody thought it was real and turned into a media phenomenon? Well it's coming back in a major way! Which means its rabid fans are still lurking out there, and have been doing who knows what for the last several weeks waiting for this. "LG15: The Resistance" (*chuckle*) will debut 12 new weekly episodes next month, produced by a CBS-funded firm and "integrated" with advertisements. Resist, yes. The show's promo—a total ripoff of those 'Anonymous' anti-scientology vids—after the jump.

You know that Dove "Campaign for Real Beauty," which featured women slightly less skeletal than the average model, and therefore demonstrated that Dove is the greatest, most big-hearted company ever in the world? Well now there's a scandal about it! A new New Yorker story about Pascal Dangin, the world's "premier retoucher of fashion photographs," contains this tidbit on Dove's campaign, which ostensibly celebrates authentic, unadulterated womanhood:

Everybody loves vintage ads, because they're all old and weird-looking with funny language and whatnot. The drawback is, you can never buy the products in them. Well now that problem has been solved! Spooftastic Photoshop wizardry website Worth1000 sponsored a contest for fake vintage ads of current products. In a servicey move, we've culled the entire list down to the five best: Girls Gone Wild, Jagermeister, cell phones, Viagra, and laser hair removal—in the old school style—after the jump.