I'm the kind of person who pays for all his movies, so I don't even know how to download something with BitTorrent. Not only does that make me a Luddite, it apparently makes me a person with good taste, because the most downloaded movies of 2011 are pretty much all awful.

Holy ladies! While their movie wasn't number one, because they're still not men, of course, women surged into a big second-position at the box office this weekend. What's next? Women voters? Women motorists? The sky might be the limit.

On what turned out to be the year's most patriotic weekend, Americans flocked in droves to go see a bunch of American meat-bodies zoom it up in another country. Some others went to go look at a fake bird in that same country, but mostly people watched the cars.

Here's a trailer for the fifth movie in the Fast and the Furious saga, simply titled Fast Five. (They are no longer furious, I guess. Irritated? Irked? Content?) It's the same movie as always, except this time Paul Walker is fully a criminal and they are in Brazil and Michelle Rodriguez is still dead. (Spoiler guys, sorry.) At this point all Paul Walker and Vin Diesel and Jordana Brewster do these days is say they're not going to make more Fast and the Furious movies and then go and make another Fast and the Furious movie. "Naw, we were just playin'. We're gonna make another one. Yeah."