fast-food
World's Cleverest Ad Campaign Is Big Failure
Hamilton Nolan · 06/22/09 10:13AMMcDonald's Sucks Starbucks' Lifeblood
Hamilton Nolan · 06/08/09 10:36AMGod Damn Tourists Love God Damn Billboard
Hamilton Nolan · 05/22/09 12:04PMNBC's Chuck Exists Only to Sell Subway Sandwiches
Hamilton Nolan · 05/20/09 03:33PMQuizno's: Taste the Poop
Hamilton Nolan · 05/19/09 11:45AMWhich Fast Food Meal Features the Best Price Per Calorie?
Pareene · 05/18/09 04:15PMOprah Must Calm America's Furious Chicken Riots
Hamilton Nolan · 05/07/09 08:54AMMcD's, Starbucks, and the Battle for the Yuppie Soul
Hamilton Nolan · 05/05/09 03:07PMThe Rappin' Pasta That Stole America's Innocence
Hamilton Nolan · 05/04/09 03:16PMDesperate Chuck Fans in Futile Sandwich Frenzy
Hamilton Nolan · 04/28/09 08:37AMNBC Sells Its Nonexistent Soul For a $5 Subway Sandwich
Hamilton Nolan · 04/17/09 09:21AMNBC has shockingly ruined the integrity of its dramatic show Chuck by allowing Subway what is perhaps the most blatant (and therefore laughable!) product placement in network TV history. Mmm, smell that chicken teriyaki.
Sir Mix-a-Lot Teaches Kids About Big Butts, Burgers
Hamilton Nolan · 04/07/09 03:47PMHere we have, you know, big ass butts, pimping food to children. Which is totally wrong, which is, of course, the whole point, because SO COOL ad agency Crispin Porter Bogusky, the inventors of all the weird Burger King ad shit, did this ad, and they just love doing things that people will say is too weird and also wrong, because it generates "Buzz," just like Midtown Manhattan. The point is Sir Mix-a-Lot is teaching obesity and sexuality to your kids and you're really okay with that, deep down, because you love Whoppers.
Padma Lakshmi in Sordid Bacon Cheeseburger Sex Tape
Hamilton Nolan · 03/26/09 01:48PMAn attractive supermodel overcome with meat-induced lust? Where do I, an 18-34-year-old male with disposable income, sign up? At Hardee's! Padma Lakshmi has decided to do one of those Slutburger commercials.
Padma Likes It Extra-Spicy
cityfile · 03/26/09 09:57AM30 Rock's 'McFlurry' Episode: More Protestations of Purity
Hamilton Nolan · 02/18/09 05:27PMSubway Distancing Themselves from Michael Phelps, Too (Fools)
Hamilton Nolan · 02/06/09 01:36PMThousands Die in Facebook Burger Massacre
Hamilton Nolan · 01/15/09 04:46PMKids Encouraged to Play With, Uh, 'Deeqs'
Ryan Tate · 12/24/08 06:29AMMichael Phelps, Jared From Subway Form Goofy Coalition
Hamilton Nolan · 11/24/08 12:54PMAfter he won 84 Olympic gold medals in Beijing and celebrated with a firm grip, Michael Phelps got a little screwy with his endorsement deals. He endorsed McDonald's, which made him seem insensitive to fat Americans who don't spend hours doing swimming drills every day, and he endorsed Frosted Flakes, which, you know, ditto. Some of his other endorsement choices came dangerously close to painting him as a nerd. But he's signed on with Subway now—a healthy choice! Screw McDonald's! But this causes as many problems as it solves for Fish Boy: