I found myself at home in Palo Alto the other day, involuntarily offline thanks to a wonky broadband connection. So I headed to Coupa Cafe to get caffeine and log onto its Wi-Fi hotspot. And, just maybe, overhear an entrepreneur and venture capitalist doing the Sand Hill Road mating dance. Greylock's David Sze likes to hold meetings there, as does LinkedIn founder and angel investor Reid Hoffman. But it's gotten so popular and so packed, that I wasn't able to find an empty outlet — let alone a seat. What to do?

Yesterday, during Yahoo's second-quarter earnings call, Sue Decker cited Yahoo's newspaper deal as an example of "how our commitment to being the industry's partner of choice is gaining traction." Her proof? The consortium teaming up with Yahoo now included 17 companies publishing "nearly 400 daily newspapers." Putting together a coalition is one thing; actually making money is quite another altogether. Today, Google announced they are expanding their effort to broker newspaper print ads to more than 225 papers. So is Decker, Yahoo's no. 2 executive, right in touting the number of papers it partners with a a sign of "traction"? It's not that simple. Yahoo doesn't do simple.

Months after Valleywag named Mac columnist and book author Andy Ihnatko as a possible writer of The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs, people have started fingering him as Fake Steve Jobs, the pretend Apple CEO, again, based on nothing more than some skimpy IP-address data. My pesky journalist instincts kicked in: Why not actually ask him? My lazy blogger instincts kicked in: Why not just do an IMterview? So I did. He warned me that he wouldn't give me any real answers about Fake Steve. And he delivered on that promise. But even so, I came away doubting that he's FSJ. A transcript of our AIM conversation follows.

Is Andy Ihnatko Fake Steve Jobs? Valleywag was the first to name him publicly as a candidate for writing the faux diary of Apple CEO Steve Jobs, but now Ihnatko is being fingered again, thanks to a needlessly elaborate Internet sting. Could the longtime Mac columnist be the man behind the curtain?

Hewlett-Packard announced a color-matching mobile technology yesterday, pitching it as a tool for picking the perfect makeup for a given skin-tone using a color index and a mobile phone. Here are some other uses they considered and wisely rejected.

The "Rahodeb" incident, in which Whole Foods Market CEO John Mackey was caught touting his company's stock on Yahoo Finance message boards, is not the first time Mackey has shown extremely poor judgment when it comes to the Internet. Around the same time he started posting on Yahoo Finance as "Rahodeb," a handle taken from the name of his wife, Deborah Morin, he launched a dotcom called WholePeople, which turned out to be an out-and-out disaster, as I wrote back in 2000. But as I reported that story, I also heard persistent rumors that there was a lot of sleeping around going on at Whole Foods, starting at the top. Sounds like the kind of thing we approve of. In most cases. But not the way Mackey did it. Here's why:

If Mark Zuckerberg is the new Steve Jobs (hint: yes), then the Facebook creator's Adidas flip-flops are the heir to the Apple founder's black turtleneck. Nearly every news item about the 23-year-old fratrepreneur mentions (among other signs of youth) the black and white sandals, which Mark wears with every outfit. The Globe and Mail barely avoided predicting he'd wear them to the mogul summer camp soon taking place in Sun Valley. (Answer: he's not going.) But we've heard bad news about Mark's favorite sandals: they're getting discontinued. Here's a photographic retrospective on the love between a boy and his flip-flops.

Dalton Caldwell, founder of the little-known social network and media sharing site iMeem, is in the news because Warner Music has dropped a copyright suit against his company Instead, Warner has granted Caldwell's users free access to the label's entire music catalog in exchange for a portion of iMeem's advertising revenue. Caldwell may not be the most powerful social-network CEO, but he's certainly the scrappiest, and this is just the latest example in his history of responding well to adversity. You could learn a lesson from him Or five lessons, actually:

John Mackey, the eccentric chief executive of flabbergastingly expensive grocery chain Whole Foods Market, has been exposed, the Wall Street Journal reports, for posting comments on Yahoo Finance message boards cheerleading himself and the company he co-founded, and bashing then-competitor Wild Oats. How long has this gone on? Eight years, which is plenty of time for him, in theory, to boost Whole Foods' stock price and dent Wild Oats' enough so that his company could take over its rival, in a deal that's now drawing scrutiny from the government. Illegal? Who knows. Arrogant, narcissistic, foolish, and compulsive? You bet, and that's why we love it.

I never intended for the blogger-baby story, which began with the birth of Ollie Kottke to A-list bloggers Jason Kottke and Meg Hourihan, to become quite such a saga, but news has a way of happening. Caterina Fake and Stewart Butterfield are no longer expecting a baby — they have a daughter, Sonnet Beatrice Butterfield, according to fellow Yahoo executive Bradley Horowitz. Here's the rundown on the rest of the couples mentioned in yesterday's baby poll, which — well done, readers — you guessed correctly.

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Bay Partners, a Silicon Valley venture capital firm, is cutting small checks to startups developing apps on Facebook's F8 platform, VentureBeat reports. Sure, Bay is opportunistically trying to ride on top of the frenzy for apps written specifically for Facebook's user base of 29 million. But Bay's initiative, called AppFactory, is small potatoes compared to what we think Facebook backer Jim Breyer, managing partner at venture capital firm Accel Partners, might be up to.

Sun Valley, the quiet Idaho ski resort town, is about to get a charge from Silicon Valley. Allen & Co., the New York investment bank, has been holding an exclusive conference there for 25 years, but until recently, the invite list has been limited to old-media moguls. On the invite list for this year's conference, which kicks off tonight: Jay Adelson, CEO of Digg, the social-news website, which he cofounded with Kevin Rose. Here's why we think Adelson's on the list — and who else might show up.

Have you ever seen a social network that lets you file people under "acquaintance"? The biggest headache on sites like Facebook, MySpace, and LinkedIn is deciding your friend threshold. Don't take my word for it — MySpace founder Tom Anderson has a private profile, and even Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg might have doubled up on his own site. Instead of making you wade through bad friend requests and pointless updates from people you don't know that well, the double-profile technique puts you in charge of your own friend network. Here's a three-step technique for splitting your online presence between your "friends" and your real friends.

Crowd-pleasing dances used to be the domain of the debonair and funky: Fred Astaire, John Travolta, Michael Jackson. But like everything else in mainstream culture, hot dancing has gotten geekified. Shimmy along with the ten best geeky dance videos of all time.*

Outside its Belmont, Calif. headquarters, the Red Herring's standard flaps stolidly in the breeze. All seems quiet. There's no sign of the fireworks that went off Thursday afternoon in the dying publication's offices. That's when a salesman, realizing he'd been stiffed on his commission, nearly got into fisticuffs with Alex Vieux, the diminutive owner of a diminishing media empire. The inside story, from an informant, after the jump.Four Herring salespeople, including the one who was quitting that day, met with Vieux at 4 p.m. on Thursday to discuss the unpaid commissions. Vieux told them he couldn't pay the commissions then, but he promised to pay them personally. When? "Soon," said Vieux — but he wouldn't commit to a date. The departing salesman demanded a check that day. He and Vieux started shouting, Vieux asked him to leave, and then pushed aside an employee to get face to face with his antagonist. "I'll kick your ass if you don't get the hell out of my office," he told him. The salesman, sizing up his opponent, mercifully withdrew. Vieux is well known for demanding that his male employees wear ties. In a gesture of defiance, the salesman took off his tie and wrapped it around his forehead as he gathered his things. Vieux walked by later and said, "It's 5 o'clock, get the hell out." The employee asked, "Do you have a paycheck for me?" Vieux had no answer. The salesman's parting shot: "Goodbye, everyone ... good luck getting your paychecks." That prompted Vieux to rant that his ex-employee was "fucking unprofessional" and that he was "going to kick [his] ass." Reporters in the newsroom cheered the salesman as he left. Witnessed any other messy scenes from the Herring's flameout? Do tell.

There's a new wag in town. And I'm feeling good. This sleepy little burg has a thousand secrets, and I can't wait to start telling them. But for the curious, I'll start, briefly, with the real story of how I got this job. Nick Denton has his version, of course, but I think mine's better, because it involves tormenting Denton.The short version: Much as I wangled a gig at Suck.com by being a complete pest, I got this job by bothering Denton. Nonstop. For two years. The torment, of course, mostly consisted of repeatedly turning down the job of running Valleywag — and then turning around and IMing Denton daily — no, hourly — no, minutely — to tell him how, precisely, I thought he ought to do it. My passive-aggressive campaign for the job culminated in drinks in San Francisco's Mission District a couple of months ago, when he finally confronted me: