On Monday, a rumor spread that controversial NY Press film critic Armond White had been "blackballed by Focus Features at the request of [director] Noah Baumbach and his producer Scott Rudin." Consequently, a quite entertaining and profane email was written!

We take our eye off the Detroit News for a few days and what happens? Former NYT movie critic and amateur cigar smuggler Elvis Mitchell is found to owe the IRS half a million bucks. Slow down, Elvis!

We bring sad news from the ongoing Film Critic Death March: In a broken-down negotiation that we like to imagine at one point contained the exchange, "You're asking for how much money?! You think you two are the only Ebert and Roeper out there? Someone get me a Chicago phone book and I bet I'll find you an Ebert and Roeper with an opinion about movies. Even a monkey (who happens to be named Ebert and/or Roeper) could do your job!" the two star critics have pulled out of their show At The Movies With Ebert & Roeper, with legendary opinion-haver Roger Ebert hinting at disastrous creative changes to come:

After last week's caustic conflagration among film critics, we've been closely monitoring the heart rates of reviewers all over the country as even more fall away from the ranks. This week saw the departure of Matt Zoller Seitz, the New York Times contributor and House Next Door founder who stepped away to pursue filmmaking full-time. We wish Seitz all the best, because judging by this series of damning reader retorts to a recent MSNBC survey of criticism, his timing couldn't possibly have been better:

The Great Film Critic Euthanizing of 2008 continued over the weekend with its highest-profile casualty yet: David Ansen, the highly respected 30-year veteran at Newsweek, joined 110 colleagues in accepting a buyout that Variety's Anne Thompson reports included "a sweetened pension, health coverage until age 65, and two years' salary." Plus he keeps a contributing editor title at the magazine, chipping in occasionally with reviews, features and whatever else Newsweek's fast-shrinking newshole can accommodate starting in 2009.