Congress has drafted and frozen the consensus agreement reached this morning on the $700 billion Wall Street bailout. The House is set to vote tomorrow. Now would be the time for supporters to at least briefly indulge the naysayers, especially given the weak recent state of opposition politics in this country. Elven Ohio Democrat Dennis Kucinich has had his brief say on the House floor. And within the media? In 2006 it was a reporter for This American Life playing the contrarian, asking basic questions about then-popular subprime mortgages. "Sometimes, if you want the real answer, you have to ask a dumb question," Times columnist David Carr writes of the reporting in Monday's paper. Today , the person asking the "dumb" question is David Cay Johnston, until recently the Times' aggressive tax reporter. He's wondering whether we're in a crisis at all!

Early this morning, Congressional leaders announced they'd come to a tentative agreement on a $700 billion bailout plan to save America. Yay? Thankfully, a kindly reporter at Reuters has gone ahead and laid out the key points of the plan, which still needs to be ratified by the full House and Senate. See the solution that will totally revolutionize Wall Street and protect us from douchebankers forever and ever after the jump. -The $700 billion in buying power would be doled out by Congress in stages. After the first $250 billion is authorized, the President could request another $100 billion. The final $350 billion could be cleared by a further act of Congress. - Washington will take a stake in companies helped through the program so that taxpayers can share in the profits if those companies get back on their feet. - A new congressional panel would have oversight power and the Treasury secretary would report regularly to lawmakers in two elements of a multi-level oversight apparatus. - Compensation limits would be set for the chiefs of participating firms to prevent excessive pay and "golden parachutes" for those who might tap government aid and then quit. - The federal government may stall foreclosure proceedings on home loans purchased under the plan. - Alongside the plan to buy securities outright, the Treasury Department will conceive an alternative insurance program that would underwrite troubled loans and would be paid for by participating companies. - If the government has taken losses five years into the program, the Treasury Department will draft a plan to tax the companies that took part to recoup taxpayer losses.

The "serious" finance/econ press (ranging from liberal Krugman to conservative Rich Lowry) agrees that the House Republican plan—insurance??—is a joke. McCain lending his ostensible support to it (though he won't come out for it, his intervention pushed the rebelling Repubs to the forefront of the debate) is designed either to scuttle a compromise he had no part in (vanity) or to provide Republicans the opportunity to avoid supporting an unpopular but arguably necessary bill (sabotage). If Dems were smart, they'd recast their compromise bill as a liberal response to the Bush/Paulson plan. Hopefully it is that, too! I.e. play up the laregly symbolic golden parachute bullshit, etc. Most likely, some version of the Dodd/Frank bill will pass this weekend, with Republican support (and probably with some minor concessions John McCain can crow about). Right? Unless McCain makes good on his threat to travel back to DC after the debate and, you know, win this war on banks. Here's John Carney on what House negotiations will look like now:

Another day, another bank disappears from the strip malls of America: A struggling Wachovia is now in discussions with Citigroup, although Wells Fargo and Banco Santander are said to be eyeing an acquisition as well. [Clusterstock, Dealbook]

If you're a Washington Mutual customer and you're wondering what's going to happen now that your bank is defunct, your new bank (JP Morgan Chase!) would like you to know that it's already decided to wipe the WaMu brand off the face of the planet. WaMu branches will be rebranded, debit cards will be replaced, and your bank statement will have a new logo at the top very shortly. And, no, you won't be seeing any silly WaMu commericals on TV any longer. [AdAge]

Fortune snagged an interview with Erin Callan, who served as second-in-command at Lehman Brothers until she was ousted in June. What does she have to say about the whole debacle? Callan says she's lucky she got when she did (duh!) and probably overdid it a wee bit with the press. She also mentions that Dick Fuld broke into tears when he fired her. [Fortune via Dealbreaker]

Two weeks ago began a tempestuous weekend that saw Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and AIG begin to collapse as going concerns. It's been a relentless 14 days since. Lehman failed; Merrill sold itself for a song and AIG had to get bailed out by the government. We've seen the last two independent investment banks give up that status so they can accept federal cash; the Treasury Department propose a $700 billion banking bailout and bitterly divide the government; and John McCain controversially suspend his presidential campaign. The morning papers today bring word of the largest bank failure in American history at Washington Mutual, splashed in full panic font across the front of the louder-than-ever Wall Street Journal (pictured). Tonight we'll finally find out if the first presidential debate occurs, and either way it won't be pleasant. Don't let your guard down for the weekend: Those who did so seven days ago missed "the end of Wall Street." (Good luck relaxing.)

If you're stressed out about losing your job or not being able to pay your mortgage, you may want to take a lesson from Kathy Fuld, the wife of Lehman CEO Dick Fuld and the man who will forever be known as man who led the firm into bankruptcy. According to art dealers, Kathy has put a set of Abstract Expressionist drawings worth some $20 million up for auction. She didn't waste any time either: Christie's announced the November 12th sale of the drawings just four days after Lehman went bankrupt. The Fulds aren't exactly in the poorhouse—Dick took home $35 million last year—but Kathy's a sensible gal and replenishing the coffers isn't the worst idea in the world when you have a large estate in Greenwich and mortgages on a $20 million Park Avenue co-op and $13 million Florida beach house.

Where are the very rich parking their money with the market in shambles? "Paintings, cars, and bottles of wine," reports the Journal. Guess if you're going to watch the world go down in flames, you might as well do it in style. [WSJ]

♦ All eyes are on Washington, of course, as lawmakers reconvene to try and hammer out a bailout. [Politico, NYT]
♦ J.P. Morgan Chase has agreed to pay $1.9 billion to the government for WaMu's banking operations and will take over the company's portfolio of loans. WaMu depositors will still have access to their cash; holders of WaMu equity and debt won't be as lucky. [WSJ, DB]

As expected, Washington Mutual collapsed yesterday, making it the largest bank failure in U.S. history. JP Morgan Chase scooped up the company's assets, so if you were a WaMu customer, you'll be banking with Chase in the future. (Whoo hoo!) If you're a WaMu shareholder, however, you're totally out of luck. [CNNMoney, NYT]

The brilliance of Bill O'Reilly, such as it is, is his ability to put an emphatically populist spin on any Republican policy, no matter how plutocrat-friendly, and also to get comically enraged about random external stimuli of every sort. By those standards, the Fox News pundit's radio show tonight was a virtuoso performance. Suddenly, to defend a $700 billion bailout aimed at Wall Street banks but opposed by Congressional conservatives, O'Reilly lashed out at "right-wing liars" and "rich guys" with "big cigars," (Those rich cigar smokers aren't bankers, as you might logically conclude, but elitist right-wing talk show hosts.) Then he promised to severely beat both the House and Senate finance committees, personally, by breaking off their fingers. If only Hank Paulson had thought of that! Click the video icon to listen.

"The status of a rescue plan for the nation’s financial system was in doubt, at least for the moment, on Thursday as lawmakers emerged from a White House meeting with President Bush to say that negotiations have a ways to go." [NYT]

It was only a matter of time before something like this turned up. Someone is now selling "toilet targets" on EBay with reviled Lehman CEO Dick Fuld's face on them. It probably isn't a disgruntled Lehman banker fretting over the mortgage payments on his Tribeca loft who came up with the idea, though. The seller is located in South Milwaukee, Wisconsin. [EBay]

Add one more book about the (still unfolding!) financial crisis to your 2009 reading list. Times business reporter/wunderkind Andrew Ross Sorkin sent out a proposal on Tuesday, an auction took place yesterday, and now he's "inches away" from a deal with Viking. [NYO, previously]

Citigroup may be struggling to remain solvent amid the global financial meltdown, but don't think that the bank's attorneys at Skadden Arps are too busy with the crisis to defend Citi's good name. Yesterday the bank took action against Citi-Mobile, a Glendale, California-based company responsible for some of those ridiculous "mobile billboards" that manage to both clog up city streets and destroy the environment at the same time. The much bigger Citi, which Skadden rather optimistically describes in court docs as "one of the largest and most renowned" banks in the world, is a little bit concerned that the public will think the financial giant decided to buy a bunch of trucks, paint them crazy colors, and make money by marketing roast beef subs and cameras to innocent pedestrians. So they're asking a court to prohibit Citi-Mobile (and its parent company Citi-Advertising) from using the hallowed "Citi" name. Here's a thought: Why not just acquire the company? Citigroup would diversify a bit. And the mobile billboard business can't be any riskier than the financial services industry these days, can it? The full lawsuit after the jump.

One more good thing to come from the mess on Wall Street: There won't be three banks opening on your block next week. Of course, that also means you may now have to walk half a block to find an ATM. [NY Sun]

Michael Lauer, the hedge fund manager accused of stealing hundreds of millions of dollars from investors (part of which he spent on a plane and a race car), has been found guilty of fraud. Good news if you're thinking about bidding on his dilapidated estate in Connecticut, which will be auctioned off by the government on Friday: Lauer may spend up to 20 years behind bars, so you won't have to worry about him showing up at the front door looking for a place to crash. [Reuters]

$700 billion. That's how much the Bush administration is asking for to bail out Wall Street. But did you know that's the equivalent of buying every single American 2,000 apple pies from McDonalds? Thankfully, CNN has broken things down for you, just in case you were having trouble wrapping your mind around such a massive figure.

♦ President Bush urged Americans to support the $700 billion bailout during his televised address last night, the first time he's ever devoted a primetime speech to the economy. Meanwhile, thousands of politicians continue to clash over the specifics. [NYT]
♦ Warren Buffet was drinking a cherry coke and eating mixed nuts last Tuesday when he got a call about investing in Goldman Sachs. He hammered out the $5 billion deal in about 15 minutes and then moved on to Cheetos and "licorice pastel candies." [WSJ]
♦ WaMu may not have much time left. [Bloomberg]
♦ Lehman Brothers chief Dick Fuld reached out to GE CEO Jeff Immelt before the firm filed for bankruptcy. [NYP]