Barry Diller is fast on his way to becoming the best entertainment in America. Yesterday he went off on product placement, called Hollywood "a pain in the ass," said that today's "huge elephantine movies" cost "a disgusting amount of money" to make, and turned up his nose when it was suggested he might be interested in purchasing New York magazine.
Greedy Stock Exchange Chairman Dick Grasso, Wall Street's own little Veruca Salt, finally gave up on getting $48 million in (contractually promised) benefits after both the media and the Board of the Exchange sat on him. If you haven't been following this flashback to the payscales of the late 90s, Mr. Grasso evidently arranged his massive benefits while the Board was paying so little attention that, until just a few days ago, many of these leaders of finance had no clue how much money Grasso had arranged for himself.
New York City's sales agent Mike Bloomberg has made a delicious refreshing dent in the City's two-billion dollar projected deficit. The first step is an exclusive beverage deal with Snapple for New York's schools, to be followed by a similar exclusive with other city properties. (Like the few remaining free STD clinics. One gets so thirsty there.) Next step: by mandating public school uniforms, between six and eight square feet of advertising space per student is made available, at a rate of $40 per teen, $30 per tween, and $20 for younger children. Additionally, while the much-hated "talking taxi" campaigns are on hold, educators can use the already-purchased technology to provide portable audio ads for school children. Paired with a GPS locator and Apple Ipods, over their mp3s children will hear: "Mm, burgers! Turn right at 14th Street for Wendy's. Buy Spongebob! Turn left at 15th Street for Toys-R-Us."
The most hilarious item in the entire Sunday Times was a three paragraph Business section round-up on what busted bigwig executives wear to court. Micheline Maynard writes, "For men, the most stylish look is an open-necked shirt and a blazer. That's what Bernard J. Ebbers, the former WorldCom chief executive, wore to court in Oklahoma City last week, where he pleaded not guilty to criminal charges, including fraud." This must become a regular column; the people have a right to know that ImClone's Sam Waksal was scandalously clad in jeans when he arrived at the big house to begin his seven-year sentence.
Courtroom Couture: Stripes Are Optional, but Lose the Tie [NYT]
In the freshest incarnation of viral marketing, young foxy women are paid to party hearty all night. These women are the new secret agents at the forefront of a brand launch. Fake flirting, they distribute free cocktails in nightclubs, hopefully addicting consumers to a new product — just like your friendly schoolyard weed dealer. The partying employees are pragmatic, of course. Says one: "Guys try to bullshit girls all the time — not that they're promoting liquor, but they use liquor to promote themselves." Word.
For what seems like a lifetime now, Vivendi has been for sale. Vivendi, if you haven't been paying attention to the onslaught, is the Paris-based monster global media conglomerate — film, music, telecommunications, and oh so much more.
The Post reports that Merrill Lynch CEO Stan O'Neal fired his second-in-command, Thomas Patrick, for delaying the process of naming a new president, but probably should have been fired for general stupidity. Three months earlier Patrick had arranged for Merrill to fund a documentary that bashed attorney general Eliot Spitzer, who has been cracking down on various New York investment banks.
Board room brawl [Post]
Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani and bulge bracket investment bank Bear Stearns[Ed.I'll save you the email. Bear Stearns is not bulge bracket! Is too! Is not! You work for Goldman, don't you? Shut up.] are launching an anti-terror investment fund. This, the day after the Pentagon decides that a terror stock market might be a bad PR move. Then again, Giuliani's never been one to care that much about PR.
Giuliani, Bear Stearns to launch anti-terror investment fund [AP]
Mothers, lock up your daughters' trust funds. Dana Giacchetto, ex-money manager to the stars, is out of jail. The NYT Magazine ran a profile of Giacchetto on June 8, wherein he described the financial advice he gave fellow inmates, "'Listen, there is no economic Holy Grail. Money is always difficult, it will always be difficult.' I would say, 'Look aroundmoney doesn't solve all your problems.'" That sort of brilliant financial wisdom ranks right up there with "Buy low; sell high" and "Bulls make money; bears make money; pigs get..."god, I hate Wall Street people. (Particularly since I used to be one.) More fun with comments: Dana Giacchetto's encore. What should he do now? How does one follow a long career of bilking celebrities for money? And most importantly, did he get a copy of The Week?
Scammer to the stars a free man [NY Post]
Uber-investor Warren Buffett is auctioning off a May 2004 lunch in New York with himself and seven of the winner's closest friends to benefit the Glide Foundation. (Or it could just be that Berkshire Hathaway's been flat this year, and Buffett needs to book returns. Foundation, schmoundation. Anyone willing to pay a couple billion for lunch?)
Lunch with Warren Buffett? Bid for it on eBay [Reuters/NYT]
The Washington Post on the minimum security prison where ImClone CEO Sam Waksal will be staying as of July 2nd. "The prison has 843 inmates, including shoe designer Steve Madden, who was sent there last year after being convicted of stock fraud. It is not surrounded by barbed wire, and prisoners are kept in dorm rooms instead of barred cells. Once it had accommodations for overnight visitors and prisoners were allowed to wear their own clothing, although neither is true today." Other bummers: no valet parking, less-than-stellar dining, can't bring "the help" with you... (Note to Martha: the knitting needles will be confiscated.)
ImClone's Waskal gets maximum jail sentence [WaPo]
Martha Stewart's website, Martha Talks, carries a "representative" selection of the messages that she has received. Typical of her correspondents is Sheila Lanthier, who makes many decisions by asking: "What would Martha do?" I'll remember that next time I'm on the phone to my broker. Stewart's supposedly personal site is, by the way, registered to Citigate Sard Verbinnen, her PR agency.
Notes [Martha Talks]
marthatalks.com [WHOIS]
The WSJ reports that CSFB tech banker Frank Quattrone has just been indicted on obstruction-of-justice charges. "The three-count indictment, handed up Monday in Manhattan federal court, accuses Mr. Quattrone of urging colleagues in an e-mail message to destroy documents that had been subpoenaed as part of the government's probe of initial public offering abuses." Today's a good day to watch the market. The Street loves bankers in handcuffs.
Quattrone is indicted on obstruction charges [WSJ]
Spitzer aiming a criminal probe at Quattrone [NY Post]
NASDAQ composite [Yahoo! Finance]
