Not to use that hacky old line about saving all their asses in WWII and leaving them free to invest in things other than standing armies for the last 60-plus years, but Europe is just laughing its delicate ass off at us now that we're in financial trouble. The little bastards. "They list greed and Greenspan among the culprits, and there are comparisons to . . . Albania. But amid the gloating, there is fear for financial systems in Britain, Spain, Italy and elsewhere. It's a rare day when finance officials, leftist intellectuals and ordinary salespeople can agree on something. But the economic meltdown that wrought its wrath from Rome to Madrid to Berlin this week brought Europeans together in a harsh chorus of condemnation of the excess and disarray on Wall Street. The finance minister of Italy's conservative and pro-U.S. government warned of nothing less than a systemic breakdown. Giulio Tremonti excoriated the 'voracious selfishness' of speculators and 'stupid sluggishness' of regulators. And he singled out Alan Greenspan, the former chairman of the U.S. Federal Reserve, with startling scorn." "'Greenspan was considered a master,' Tremonti declared. 'Now we must ask ourselves whether he is not, after [Osama] bin Laden, the man who hurt America the most. . . . It is clear that what is happening is a disease. It is not the failure of a bank, but the failure of a system. Until a few days ago, very few were willing to realize the intensity and the dramatic nature of the crisis.' "The system is collapsing, exactly like the Albanian pyramids collapsed,' Tremonti said. 'The idea is gaining ground that the way out of the crisis is mainly with large public investments. . . . The return of rules is accompanied by a return of the public sector.'" Okay, okay. So our shit's a little fucked up right now. But here's one thing: We don't have to take any crap from the likes of fucking Italy. How are your Neo-Nazi soccer riots going? And, what're you guys on now? Like your 24th "Republic" since Mussolini? Give it a rest. And don't get me started on Spain, Germany and France. [LAT]