If last year’s exciting videos of flakka users running naked through traffic, kicking police department doors, or trying and miserably failing to climb fences made you think to yourself, You know, I’d like to try that—too bad. Flakka is over. We beat Flakka.

A recently released study by NYU confirms something that should have been obvious to anyone whose brain hasn’t yet jumped ship waving a white flag: You shouldn’t trust that whatever white, powdery substance you think you’re putting in your body to actually be that substance. A recently released NYU study determined that 40 percent of people who thought they were popping molly—the supposed pure form of ecstasy’s main ingredient, MDMA—actually had unwittingly ingested synthetic cathinones, the active ingredients in bath salts, “and/or” other psychoactive substances new on the market, “intended to mimic the effects of traditional illegal drugs.”

A naked, blood-covered 17-year-old girl was arrested Saturday morning in Melbourne, Fla., after she allegedly jumped through the glass window of an unoccupied house, punched a stranger and a car, and then ran at police officers while repeatedly screaming “I’M SATAN!” and “I AM GOD.”

The increasing legality of marijuana means one thing: Pot is very easy to buy and no longer cool to do. To fill this thrill-void, our country's idiots are turning to insane substances like krokodil, bath salts, jenkum, meow meow and now flakka, transforming into psychotic murder machines in the process. Or so local news would have us believe.

Kenneth Crowder, 41, was arrested by police in Melbourne, Fla. last week after his flakka high led him on a misbegotten, naked journey through a residential neighborhood, a reported brawl with a police officer, and an alleged "sexual act on a tree."

Didn't think shit could get crazier than bath salts? Damn, look how wrong you were.