In what must be alarming news for clueless parents, it turns out that letting your children binge eat Flamin' Hot Cheetos can cause gastritis. A snack that burns tongues, dyes fingers red, and makes it look like you're shitting blood is harmful? No way, not possible.

According to a CBS News story published today, Flamin' Hot Cheetos have been causing something of a panic among parents whose kids shovel the stuff in by the bagful, resulting in a reddish stool that sends them running to the emergency room.