Pretty soon, you will have to wear a bathing suit, outside of your house. Will you look like a babe/hunk? Not if you are eating the nine chain restaurant meals or 20 drinks that are the "worst in America."

Normally, this post would have been written by Gawker night editor Adrian Chen. However, after reading this article on 'foodie yoga' he hung himself with his MacBook's power cord. Please welcome our guest columnist, foodie yoga enthusiast Samuel Lewis