Recently, a woman named Christina was asked to babble about her food fetish at a taping of Steve Harvey. Christina, who talks like a mama grizzly but eats like Yogi, started off by saying, "Welp, food excites me, and I mean it excites me." You see where this is going? She's talking about downtown.

Um, hi. I hate to start a Monday morning off this way, but journalistic integrity demands I do so. Have you ever had sex with food? No, I don't mean humping a casserole or anything (if you have done that, I'm not judging!) but rather food-play. It seems an actor likes to smear himself in edibles before he does the deed with a hooker. I... Yeah. I don't know. Here's the item: "I honestly thought I knew about most sexual fetishes. I guess I have heard of this, but never heard of anyone who actually participated. The thought that a former A list film actor and now a B- with some great name recognition would enjoy participating in food sex is kind of funny. Food sex as in covering you and your partner in various foods and then having sex. Our actor only does it in hotels and only with hookers. Maybe having all that food all over him hides his bald areas." [Crazy Days and Nights] Two more less-gross items after the jump.