Happy Patriot's Day! Oh, wait, we're not in Boston? So you mean we can't start drinking now and go stand outside and watch the marathon runners zip by, happy that it's spring and that the wintry gray city finally looks bright again? Oh, that's too bad. I guess I'll just have to stumble along instead, chasing the answers to these blind items around and around, forever and ever. Much like Charlie on the MBTA. First up, we have a story from Jo Piazza about your favorite low-ceilinged smoke hut, the Beatrice Inn: "Which starlet left a black lace thong draped over the back of the toilet seat at the Beatrice Inn last week for the next patron to find, then went commando for the rest of the night?" Five more (!) items after the jump. Those of you who are in Boston on this wonderful day (especially those of you who may go to a certain Jesuit university along Commonwealth Avenue): you really should not be reading this. Go outside! Get drunk first. But then, go outside!