Cultural critic Fran Lebowitz is the perfect dresser if you enjoy women in men's suit jackets and cowboy boots, and the perfect speaker if you enjoy words. ELLE.com's Kathleen Hale recently sat down with Lebowitz at Burger Heaven (after Lebowitz threatened to cancel the interview if Hale was going to conduct it via the cell phone she used to contact Lebowitz) for a wide-ranging interview on a bunch of shit that Lebowitz hates (yoga pants, men in shorts, glasses jackers) and a few things Lebowitz likes (Dolly Parton). You should read the whole thing because it's absolutely the best celebrity interview of the year so far, but I'm pasting in some highlights below:

Conservative mouthpiece Matt Drudge turns 43 today. Writer Fran Lebowitz is 59. John Cleese is turning 70. Kelly Osbourne is turning 25. Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver is turning 42. Duran Duran's Simon Le Bon is 51. Financier J. Christopher Flowers is 52. Director Ivan Reitman is turning 63. Oscar-winning Italian actor Roberto Benigni turns 57. Novelist Zadie Smith is 34. And Marla Maples, the second wife of Donald Trump and the mother of one of his five kids, is 46 today.

Vanity Fair contributing editor and Graydon Carter pal Fran Lebowitz has some words of advice for a certain similarly named colleague. Annie Leibovitz, your ears are burning.

It's a good thing that author Fran Lebowitz is so tight with editor/restaurateur Graydon Carter that she can walk into Monkey Bar (or the Waverly Inn) without a reservation and get a table a moment's notice. If she had to use the phone—or Monkey Bar's email reservations system—she'd be in serious trouble. WWD asked her if Lebowitz if she spent any time using Twitter or Facebook and this is what she had to say:

Writer and humorist Fran Lebowitz turns 58 today. Internet muckraker Matt Drudge is 42. Financier J. Christopher Flowers turns 51. Musician Scott Weiland is 41. Duran Duran's Simon Le Bon is 50. Kelly Osbourne is 24. Director Ivan Reitman in 62. Actor John Cleese is celebrating his 69th. British author Zadie Smith is 33. And Donald Trump's second wife, Marla Maples, turns 45 today.

So what does Barry Diller have to say about the meltdown on Wall Street? "I think it's great, I think it should happen every day," he told a reporter from the Observer at a party for Graydon Carter's new book on Monday night, before adding that he was just joking. Fran Lebowitz's take: "Just when you think how horrible New York has become in terms of things interfering with the tone of the city, they're finally leaving!" she said. Who is "they" exactly? "The rich people! They're leaving!" Careful, Fran. If all the rich people leave town, you'll have no one to pick up your tab at the Waverly Inn every night. [NYO]

♦ At Marc Jacobs, there were lots of celebs like Helena Christensen, Elijah Wood, Nicole Richie, Stephanie Seymour, Kelly Osbourne, Sofia Coppola, Winona Ryder, and Jennifer Lopez, and the elaborate, adventurous, world travel-inspired clothes got high marks—but all of the above was entirely eclipsed by the presence of Posh Spice's new gamine haircut. [WWD, Telegraph, Hello]

• Drama abounded at DKNY's show yesterday: PETA protestors burst onto the runway, shouting and brandishing placards—to the apparent amusement of André Leon Talley—while Petra Nemcova's new bangs rendered her unrecognizable and therefore unmolested by the media. Meanwhile the rather random celebrity trio of Winona Ryder, Christina Ricci, and Nicole Richie were regaled with "combinations of electric blue and black, neon pink and yellow anorak dresses, parachute pants and color-blocked knits" and a finale led by Donna Karan's five-year-old granddaughter Stefania. [The Cut, Fashionologie, NYDN, Telegraph]
  
  

1) At the New York premiere of spy thriller Traitor at the Regal Union Square last night, the film's stars Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Said Taghmaoui, and Mozhan Marno walked the red carpet along with director Jeffrey Nachmanoff, Busta Rhymes, Jesse Williams, Estelle, Aubrey O'Day, and Nicole Miller. [NYO/Wireimage]

1) The first New York benefit of the Young Patrons Circle of the Friends of the Louvre took place Tuesday night at Espace: Devoted socials like Olivia Chantecaille, Fabiola Beracasa, Alexandra Papanicalaou, Lisa Anastos, Annabel Vartanian, Melissa Berkelhammer, and Devorah Rose bid on photographer Candida Hofer's pictures of the Louvre's galleries. [Park Avenue Peerage/PMc]

Last night the 26th CFDA Awards were held at the New York Public Library, MC'd by Fran Lebowitz and hosted by CFDA chairman Diane Von Furstenberg, who, like many attendees, wore YSL in tribute to the late designer. The big winners? Calvin Klein designer Francisco Costa was presented the award for womenswear by Maggie Gyllenhaal (in Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez's Proenza Schouler), Victoria Beckham (in Marc Jacobs) and Eva Mendes (in Calvin Klein). Kim Cattrall presented the award for menswear to Tom Ford.

A writer, humorist, and lit world social fixture, Fran Lebowitz is renowned for her flip one-liners and for her scathing essays on weighty topics like race.

"So who says that book people don't know how to throw a great party!" crowed Nancy Bass Wyden, the glamorous blonde lady who, improbably, is the third-generation owner of New York's most beloved and endearingly crappy used book store. 'Everyone,' said the crowd with their eyes and wan applause. No offense to Nancy or the Strand! But by the time (8:00ish on Saturday night) she made her dramatic declaration, the book people were nearing the end of their annual spate of book people parties, and the Strand's valiant but sweltering contribution to the glut wasn't making much of an impact. There were cold cuts, though, and pickles, and photos by Nikola Tamnindzic and Ed Koch's reliable wackiness, and little Adam Gopnik!

The NYT's Andrew Jacobs chronicles the history of smoking in New York, from Dorothy Parker to the '21' club, to a trading floor on Wall Street a week ago. Writer Fran Lebowitz: "It's the continued suburbanization of New York,"...In a city filled with undersize apartments, the bars and restaurants, she says, are collective living rooms and parlors, the places for intellectual discourse and artistic give and take. "The history of ideas, as opposed to notions, is that you sit around bars and talk," she said. "You can't sit around in bars and not smoke."
Walk a mile for a camel? Not far enough anymore. [NYT]