Today in "The New York Times Publishes the Children of Former New York Times Columnist Frank Rich," the New York Times reaches out to Simon Rich, the son of former New York Times columnist Frank Rich. Stay tuned for more inevitable TNYTPTCOFNYTCFR updates.

The New York Times has appointed former restaurant critic Frank Bruni as its new Sunday (and Thursday) op-ed columnist. It sounds like he'll be taking over the big picture spot on the Sunday page that Frank Rich is vacating:

Huh. New York Times op-ed expounder Frank Rich, who currently possesses a huge chunk of the Sunday opinion page in the world's most influential newspaper—where he's allowed to say whatever he wants—is leaving all that behind to go write for New York magazine, where he "will be an essayist for the magazine, writing monthly on politics and culture, and will serve as an editor-at-large, editing a special monthly section anchored by his essay." Rich's own explanation:

Joe Scarborough—former Republican Congressional Representative—and guests presented some surprisingly well-thought out arguments that resonate with every New York City native while simultaneously discussing Frank Rich's op-ed for the Times and arguing against both demagogues and "freaks on the far-right."

In yesterday's New York Times, Frank Rich says the George Clooney flick Up in the Air will, "salve national wounds that continue to fester in the real world." Did he see the same movie we did? Because he's totally wrong.

• Glenn Beck is Time magazine's cover boy this week, sadly. [Time, HuffPo]
• Spike Lee and Robert De Niro are teaming up with Showtime "to develop a drama series about Manhattan's Alphabet City." [THR]
• Twitter is now worth $1 billion, believe it or not. [TechCrunch]
• Nikki Finke hears that Variety is planning to start charging for access to its website and The Hollywood Reporter is dropping its daily print edition. [DHD]
• Jenna Bush made her debut on the Today show this morning. [BS]
• An update how Jay Leno's new show is faring three days in. [NYT]
• An update on the protracted legal battle between CBS and ex-anchor Dan Rather, a feud that only "seems to get pettier by the day." [TDB]
• Fox 5's Ernie Anastos managed to both embarrass himself and coin a delightful new catchphrase on the news last night. [Gawker, NYP, B&C]

Dating Drew Barrymore isn't the only thing that Fabrizio Moretti and Justin Long have in common. They also share a birthday. Fabrizio is turning 29 today, while Justin is turning 31. Others celebrating: Times columnist Frank Rich is turning 60. American Express CEO Ken Chenault turns 58. Princeton professor Cornel West is 56. Westchester DA-turned-TV judge Jeanine Pirro turns 58. Hairdresser-turned-movie producer Jon Peters is 64. NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is 57. Dana Carvey is turning 54. Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts turns 68. Dennis Haysbert is 55. Nikki Cox turns 31. And comedian Wayne Brady is 37 today.

Michael Hirsh has a question: where is Joseph Stiglitz? Well, he's in Brazil or something, but where is he in the Obama administration? The liberal Nobel-winning economist, who will be forever in our hearts for the animosity between him and Larry Summers, was right about basically everything, of course, and the Obama administration hasn't even called him, going with Tim Geithner and Summers instead. Now all the whiny liberals are whining about how there are no liberals in the Obama cabinet!

The stifling corporation that serves as government in the year 2700 is a composite of McDonalds, Wal-Mart and Halliburton; the bloated humans in their floating barcaloungers represent the evolutionary destiny of a species sedated by automation, fast-food and electronic displays; and the call to save the planet could have come from Al Gore, had he the wit and computer graphics skills. Rich is not the only commentator to tease out Wall-E's political agenda: some conservatives have even called for a boycott of the movie and its merchandise.

"Coverage of the war in Afghanistan has increased slightly this year, with 46 minutes of total coverage year-to-date compared with 83 minutes for all of 2007. NBC has spent 25 minutes covering Afghanistan, partly because the anchor Brian Williams visited the country earlier in the month. Through Wednesday, when an ABC correspondent was in the middle of a prolonged visit to the country, ABC had spent 13 minutes covering Afghanistan. CBS has spent eight minutes covering Afghanistan so far this year." That is from Brian Stelter's remarkable story in the New York Times which is actually entirely about Lara Logan's appearance on The Daily Show. So. No one cares about the war(s) anymore! Until a hot lady shames us in a sexy accent.

The Strokes' Fabrizio Moretti is 28 today. Scandal-plagued district attorney-turned-TV talking head Jeanine Pirro is 57, as is American Express CEO Ken Chenault. Afro-lovin' Princeton professor Cornel West is 55. And New York Times columnist (and now HBO consultant) Frank Rich is 59.

So. Times columnist and former theater critic Frank Rich has a sweet creative consulting deal with HBO. They give him a paycheck, and he will sometimes call them up if he has a great idea (and Frank Rich has thousands of great ideas every day). He will maybe read some scripts and give notes. Did we mention he gets a paycheck? We don't begrudge him this cushy gig, but he should BEWARE. Another respected cultural thinker once went down this road, Frank!

• Say goodbye to CBS2's Jim Rosenfield. He's been axed as part of cutbacks at the network, and today will be his last day. The belt-tightening also claimed the jobs of Andrew Kirtzman and Scott Weinberger.

Avuncular Times columnist and former theater critic Frank Rich just signed a deal making him HBO's "creative consultant." Which means, according to Nikki Finke, "a consulting fee combined with payments for projects that get made." What it also means is that now he can get all his kids jobs on television too. (Zing!) [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Because I didn't grow up with rich, famous New York media figures for parents, who could use their connections to insert me into a choice job in the media world, I've always been in favor of banning people who do have such parents from holding those good jobs. It would make the competition for them more meritocratic, and (bonus) wouldn't affect me personally. Sure, some of those legacy kids are smart and qualified for their positions—but then again so are dozens of other, less connected people. Prime example: Nathaniel Rich, son of Times demigod columnist Frank Rich. Nat is an author and associate editor at the Paris Review, and, by all accounts I've seen, intelligent and capable. But still, I think we should ban him from writing out of pure spite and envy. It just seems like the revolutionary thing to do. In the clip below, Nat talks about how growing up in the Rich family has affected his career. "I don't feel I need to respond to it. People refer to me a lot worse ways (than as a Rich boy)," he says. Such as?

The formerliberal pundit-in-residence for the Times' "Week in Review" section, Rich preaches to the choir about American politics and its' current "editor-at-large" at New York Magazine.

The Times' City section today gives its cover over to a long, knowing meditation by a lifelong New Yorker about all the changes the city has gone through since its darker, more edgy days. "I have vivid memories of 1980s Times Square (my parents worked in offices there), but I never got to experience the distinct pleasures of all-night grind-house double features or live sex shows," says the author. His name is Nathaniel Rich, and he's the 27 year-old son of Times columnist Frank Rich. Wow, those Rich kids sure are good at getting published! [NYT]

Three guesses as to the identity of the anonymous S.N.L. staffer describing himself this week in the New Yorker's "Talk of the Town" as being "physically incapable of growing a strike beard, or any beard." You really only need one guess—ours is that it's 22-year-old boy wonder Simon Rich, son of Times heavyset heavyweight Frank Rich. Isn't he just positively adorable? Ordering a drink must be a complete nightmare for him. You have to admire the New Yorker for its diligent commitment to pursuing a diverse range of sources. It would be so simple to take the easy way out and gather quotes from friends and colleagues. Like, say, for instance, contributors to the magazine's "Shouts & Murmurs" column!

Times op-ed downer Frank Rich will spend this evening with presidential candidate Stephen Colbert at the 92nd Street Y. A slew of tickets have just been released. The website promises, "Following the program, there will be a book signing and opportunity to meet someone Time magazine has named 'one of the 100 most influential people of 2006.' Whatever, we were the Person of the fucking YEAR once, man! [92nd Street Y]

Op-ed columnist Frank Rich's new office. Tidy!