The University of Rochester's merry prankster troupe The Chamber Boys sent their agent Patrick to play the ol' "fake professor" gag on a bunch of freshmen — and he aced it.

Bryn Mawr College is a small women's liberal arts college located in a tony Philadelphia suburb. It prides itself on creating smart, empowered female leaders. It also creates HORRIBLE, WILD MONSTERS, as detailed in an amazing memo, sent to us by a tipster.

Oh, those House Republican freshmen. They're furious at Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and his Democratic caucus for not passing the full $61 billion in budget cuts that they want. Why can't Senate Dems just listen to the American people, they ask, and eliminate funding for every program Democrats like? Because until this happens, 30 House Republican freshmen promise to stand on the Senate steps everyday, just straight-up making a ruckus.

As we've heard, our nation's college students are quite mentally unstable. In fact, the results of a new survey say our college freshmen are more stressed than ever before. Is it debt? Insecurity? Inferiority? Or is it...rave parties?

There are so many new members of Congress this year — and some of them are even attractive, by Washington standards! We've studied them all and plucked only the "sexiest." And your Gawker editors have scored them, to boot.

The many incoming Republican members of Congress are still enjoying Freshmen orientation: Boring lectures by day, secret Boehner orgies by night. But are these sore, hungover noobs even learning anything? Yes! It's all found in Eric Cantor's Official Freshmen Guide.

No one could have predicted, when the group Tea Party Patriots posted the personal cell numbers and email addresses for incoming Republican congressmen online, that the incoming Republican congressmen wouldn't appreciate this. Who wouldn't want hundreds of confusing, unsolicited calls?

South Dakota Congresswoman-elect Kristi Noem narrowly won the election season's "hottest race" — the one with two under-40 female candidates — last week. And now her drooling male colleagues in Washington may give her a spot in the leadership!

Despite the fact that college degrees are worthless, kids these days are scrambling to attend any school, no matter how fake, out of desperation. The real victims: the colleges. What are they going to do with all you kids?