A Chicago pastor claimed Wednesday that Comcast canceled an appointment to fix an internet outage at his church, citing a fear of violence in the neighborhood.

There’s good news and bad news in Comcast’s alleged mission to improve its worst-in-America customer service. Good: You might actually get a refund after they bill you for equipment you’ve already returned. Bad: You’ll have to sign an agreement never to tell anyone that Comcast overcharged you in the first place.

Comcast’s takeover of Time Warner Cable, which was reportedly on life support after an FCC meeting Wednesday, is now officially dead. “Today, we move on,” Comcast CEO Brian L. Roberts said in a statement. Good.

The FCC is very likely to block Comcast and Time Warner Cable, the reigning Worst Company in America and Most Hated Company in America, from completing their $45.2 billion super-megamorph into The Worst, Most Hated Company in America, a source familiar with the deal told Bloomberg today. Hey Comcast, have you tried turning it off and rebooting it?

Just over a week ago, a St. Paul, Minn., man told Comcast he'd like to cancel his cable service. It's never as simple a process as it should be, but 66-year-old Jimmy Ware had a pretty good excuse: His entire house had burned down, and everything inside—including TVs and cable box—was destroyed in the fire.

A software engineer living in Washington state may have no choice but to sell the home he bought last December because, despite repeatedly checking with Comcast before he even considered buying the property, the company just can't (or won't) give him internet service.

Comcast, in the process of trying (or pretending) to reform its worst-in-America customer service, hit a snag this week when it had to apologize to customers for changing the names on their accounts to Whore, Asshole, Dummy, and Fuck You. The company downplayed the incidents, saying they'd cut ties with the "vendor call center" behind one of the name-changes, but more keep popping up. The latest: A 63-year-old woman known in Comcast's billing system as "SuperBitch."

Comcast, the internet service provider that inspired book one of Dante's Divine Comedy, promised last year that it would begin the years-long process of making its customer service not the actual worst in America. How's that going? Not so good, according to Comcast subscriber Julie Swano. Or, as Comcast knows her, "Whore Julia Swano."