There's a new survey about yoga in America. (Pause for applause). It's put out by Yoga Journal—the very embodiment of Big Yoga—so I wouldn't put too much credence in it myself, but hey, you never know what you internet readers will believe.

Helmet brains! Weird veneers! Teen pregnancy! Teen car crashes! Impotent fish oil! Blue Collar Yoga! Banana machines! Alzheimer's ladies! Laser faces! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—and it only hurts a little bit!