In this clip, Chris Matthews ignores everything Darrell Issa says except two words: "Democrat party." And Chris Matthews is sick of this shit. Chris's fuse seems to have gotten pretty short lately!

Universal announced today that they're planning a live-action movie version of the game Candy Land. You read that right. Ridley Scott's working on a Monopoly movie. So what boardgames could be next? Let's speculate.

Now you have one less way to waste time at work and one less reason to get pissed off at your "friends." Scrabulous—the Scrabble rip-off available for online play at Facebook—has finally been shut down. So now you have to play real, Hasbro-owned Scrabble. Or just go here. This is perhaps not the best environment in which to launch our own exciting murder mystery online board game "Hint", is it. [NYT]

The name of an online game for kids to play on Carvel Ice Cream's website: COOKIEPUSSTEROIDS. Carvel has gotten a lot more hardcore since I was a kid. [via Adrants]

U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama appeared on the Fox Business Channel yesterday, apparently trying to reach the four depressed masturbators who make up the Fox Business audience. The blonde the modeling agency sent in to interview Obama decided to "have a little fun" with Barry by playing a word-association game. Yes, a word-association game! Hooray for journalism! Hooray for democracy! It's kind of the worst possible way for Obama to be interviewed because, yes, he's into 'the nuance thing.' So watch for yourself and cringe along at home.

Why settle for the virtual world when destroying ogres and dwarves and elves and whatever the hell else you can kill in Worlds of Warcraft when you can get together with your geeky pals and role-play in the fresh air? That's what the kids in the upcoming documentary Monster Camp decided to do. Trailer after the jump. [via GuestOfAGuest]

The old parlor game of F/M/K (Fuck, Marry, Kill) is now F/U/C (Father, Uncle, Cousin), former Gawker and noted flaneur Joshua Stein has decided. This week, you pick from Bill Clinton, NYT film critic A.O. Scott, and "legendary boxing trainer" Lou Duva as your dad, uncle and cousin. Choose carefully! Your choices surely reveal Freudian things you'd rather not dredge up. [These Are My Memoirs]

Whatever happened to all-American college pastimes like smoking weed and robbing the pizza delivery guy? Kids in fancy schools these days apparently spend all their time engaged in a "team-based locally social online sport." No, not organizing group sex encounters on Craigslist; playing GoCrossCampus, a popular nerd-based internet game similar to Risk. And it's not just confined to Stanford, as we had hoped; it's everywhere!

"For some children, watching "Dora the Explorer" on television is becoming passé. Now, they want to be Dora." Mother. Fuckers. They want to be Dora because multinational corporations are pouring millions into online games that masquerade as harmless diversions while actually indoctrinating children into brand worship! Nickelodeon is spending $100 million to draw in the children of the world with shiny games. Entertainment, retailers, junk food, and other huge business sectors are all using these games to lure kids into influencing purchasing decisions—some games are even designed for kids "on the laps of their moms." It's truly one of the most insidious forms of... hey, "Reese's Puffs Cereal Snowboard Slalom?" Sweet. [NYT]

Hey, raging creative underclass! Remember playing pencil-and-paper role-playing games in high school college? I don't, because I was cool and played real-time strategy games on my computer instead. But my friends did! And they were among millions who played Dungeons & Dragons, the first commercial role-playing game. My friends weren't stereotypical nerds (they were unique and unpeggable nerds); they loved plot and character, and in addition to writing and drawing, they told each other stories through RPGs like D&D and Mage. So after the death of D&D creator Gary Gygax this week, I asked my friend Mark Beall to talk about his experience as a literary RPG fan.

"If you've never heard of PowerPoint Karaoke, that probably means you're neither German nor a hardcore techie." By god, we'll have to admit that that's an accurate statement. This trend may have been around in German techie circles for a while, but now that it's hit the media at large, expect to see it in as a weakly-attended theme night soon at a bar near you. The Boston Globe reports that the trend of taking a random PowerPoint presentation and putting together a narrative for it on the fly is just about as much fun as any crowd of "extroverted geeks" can handle. Plus they're all drunk at the time! Actually, it does sound like fun.

For those of you not reading my Facebook Beacon feed (kidding! I disabled that in case Megarotic.com ever joins Beacon), I've been in love with Kongregate for the last few months. It's the YouTube of Flash games, hosting games such as Desktop Tower Defense, which everyone was playing all last year. But the entire tower defense genre, based on building towers to fend off an invading army, feels like work. So here are five popular but actually entertaining flash games.

My favorite kind of game is role-playing games that turn repetitive real-life work into repetitive game work with fewer rewards. I'm not impressed by PMOG, the massively multiplayer RPG played by just surfing the web. It's cute, but it's too distracting for anyone doing Serious Business on the Internet. I want to intentionally waste a few hours. The real game to play is Forumwarz, which launched early this month. It's stupid, insulting, and really damn clever. [UPDATE: I've started playing and the game is requiring me to have cybersex with a predator. This game rocks.]

Kids! They know how to use computers! Actually no. Young students are as likely as older users to enter plain-English phrases as search terms, according to a study by the British Library (summarized here). They're also more likely to make research mistakes (like ignoring relevant information because it doesn't fit certain keywords), as luddites and librarians have feared, but not because of the Internet: Pre-web studies showed the same poor research skills among younger children, indicating that, well, children are less educated than adults. The study also produced the awesomest photo illustration of "research" ever.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

NICK DOUGLAS — As fantastic as the baton-controlled Nintendo Wii may be (I found it's most fun after White Russians and a tequila shot), it seems like the only game anyone plays is Wii Sports. So what other games would I like to see? Click the thumbs to see the gallery. Props for the "let's Photoshop the covers" idea to Mike Monteiro.

As part of the Come Out and Play Festival of xtreme street-game tardation, New Yorkers are invited to be Cruel 2 B Kind. Unfortunately, the "cruel" part manifests itself via the "kind" — teams of idiots must locate their opponent and "kill" them by correctly guessing their vulnerability to a particular act of kindness, such as a compliment, a cheer, offering flowers, or perhaps a friendly reacharound. There's no way to identify other contestants, so you just wander the playing area perpetrating unasked-for kindnesses until you get someone, or an opponent notices your gauche behavior and somehow kindly takes you out of the game, or until you're dragged into an alley and beaten. Registration is open, and the game goes down September 23.

Let us make a profound observation: Citizens of other nations are different from those of us here in the States. They may in fact have a higher public tolerance for profanity spoken by both old and young. For example, consider this ad consisting of a gentle British granny and her grandkids re-enacting the "dick dick dick" diner conversation from Reservoir Dogs. Or the same kids dropping a barrage of f-bombs during another such scene. It's all in aid of a game based on the movie, so it's too bad the ads would never see airtime in America (the game has already been banned in Australia). At this point, we'd rather just see the entire movie re-enacted by this same British family.