Stephen Colbert, Middle Earth aficionado, landed the role of cover model for Entertainment Weekly's Hobbit tribute. We're coming to accept that we'll have to get used to Colbert outside of his Report persona, but who knew he made such a sexy Legolas?

Next stop, Mordor. Kindly remember to take all your precious possessions with you when exiting the train.

Tuesday is Willie Nelson's 80^th birthday. To celebrate, he did what any legendary country musician would do: he recorded a fake Gandalf audition reel for The Hobbit 2 on Conan.

Okay, so that's neither Gandalf nor a kangaroo, but "why not spend them letting a creepy bearded hobo show you how to stuff a wallaby into a shopping bag" just doesn't have a very inviting ring to it.

While watching the Lord of the Rings movies—or reading the books, I suppose—did you ever wonder if the ring was really only able to be destroyed in the fiery pits of Mordor? This alternate ending answers the question.

On Fox & Friends this morning, Glenn Beck explained how Barack Obama must be stopped from using the PATRIOT Act—seriously!—to spy on whites by adding an aging British homosexual playing a wizard to his entertaining repertoire of impressions.